JR Martinez's Insights on Inner Strength and the Art of Vulnerability

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Welcome to today's episode of Enduring the Badge Podcast.

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I'm host Jerry Dean Lund and if you haven't already done so, please take out your phone and hit that subscribe button.

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So if you would do that, I would appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.

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Very special guest today is Jerry Martinez.

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How are you doing, jerry?

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I'm well, man.

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How are you doing?

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I'm doing great.

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Thank you for asking, jerry.

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Do you mind telling the audience a little bit about yourself?

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Oh yeah, man, Like I mean, it's like the footnote, it's like what do people want to know, right?

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And it's like the stuff that really gets a lot of the attention of the course is the author, actor, motivational speaker, veteran, and I also happen to be once upon a time in my lifetime on that show right over there called Dancing with the Stars, where I competed on season 13 and actually won the competition.

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But listen, man, above all of those things I really like to tell people, I think the things that I'm most proud of, and, Lou, of all the things that I've been blessed to have the opportunity to do, is that I'm a cycle breaker and I'm sure we're going to probably unpack a lot of the stuff, a lot of the life experiences that I've had and what I've dealt with and what I've broken from a cycle perspective to get to where I am today.

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And I think I'm still in that space where I'm still learning and still trying to make those improvements every single day of my life.

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But yeah, man, it's been fun.

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Man, I still have those moments where I think now I'm 40 years old and I'm in a space now where I slow down and I try to reflect a little bit more than I used to.

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And those moments of reflection I really I get a smile on my face because it just makes me realize the things that I've been able to do, the people I've been able to meet, the stories I've been able to hear, the stories I've been able to share.

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I mean, life is great man, and it has its rocky road and its challenges, but I've been able to come out on the other side and still trying to yeah, let's talk about reflection for just a minute.

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There was a time in your life that you didn't do a lot of reflecting on things that have happened or things that you're going through.

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Yeah, no, I mean I think, like a lot of us, we're just in the mode, we're in the game, right, you're too busy trying to play and survive and make it to the next level, whatever level you may be in life and I'm no different I mean in my early twenties, I was 19 when I was injured and, as you can imagine, at 19 years old you take an injury out of the equation, a big, big life altering event.

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You take that out of the equation.

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Just remember being 19 years old period and the challenge that comes with just being 19 in the world and finding your place and what do you want to do and how do you live on your own and just I mean there's all sorts of things that are going on at 19.

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But then you throw this into the equation where, as I like to tell people like I lost when I was in the military and I was injured overseas, I lost both of my identities, and the first identity that I lost was this identity of being of service.

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I was told I wasn't going to stay in the military, I was going to be medically discharged, I wasn't going to be able to wear the uniform and serve and be part of that team and part of this bigger thing, and so, of course, that was stripped away for me and I just like, immediately went into this negative space of like my God, my life is over.

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And then, just literally a few days after that, I saw my face in my body for the first time and, understanding the severity of the injury, I'm just like, as you can imagine, now a second identity has been stripped of me, and one that I've known longer than the first one.

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Like I knew that for 19 years, the way I looked, and then suddenly I look in the mirror at 19 and I'm like I don't know who that person is and, of course, all that does is add fuel to that fire that's already burning in regards to my life is over and I went down to that road and I went down in that rabbit hole and I always I believe in manifestation, I believe in putting a lot of good thoughts and good energy into the world and I think it rewards you.

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But I don't believe that you just have to just manifest and visualize it, like a lot of people like to sit here and do this practice and wake up and be like check out the lot on ticket, like did I win?

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And I'm like that's not how it works.

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You actually buy the lot on ticket right.

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So you actually got a different.

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When I finally started to get a little bit of like seeds of life and realize that I can continue to serve in a very different way, when I started to realize that I brought value to the table and that all the narratives that I had been feeding myself for so long that no one would ever want to date me, no one would ever want to look at me, no one would ever want to talk to me, I'll never be able to have a job, I'll never all the things you just go down that dark road saying to yourself.

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Once I started to realize those things aren't really true, then I just found myself just going a hundred miles an hour.

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And honestly, jerry, it was one of the things that I commonly tell people is this you know, a year after I was injured, I got involved with a nonprofit that was set up to help veterans and their families and make that transition when they come home from an injury.

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And that was my new purpose.

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Man, that was the thing that was like, that was my lifeline, that was the thing that was keeping me going.

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And people said, man, you're really good at this speaking thing.

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You're really good at being able to relay the message and the challenges and get people to get involved.

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We want you to be a spokesman, and I was just turned 20.

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I was like I don't even know what a spokesman means, but I'll do it.

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And I started to.

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The PR company started to put me on all these different shows and, you know, it gave me a sense of purpose, but it was almost a little harmful in a sense, and what I mean by that is I would have a surgery, an intensive surgery, on, let's say, a Thursday.

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And there's an example of where, on a Thursday, I had a 13 hour surgery and that following Monday I was on a plane flying somewhere to go do press for a couple of days, and it's like you know.

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And so what that did was and there's a lot of, you know harmful traits and characteristics that are involved in that, because what I started to feel was the sense of like, oh man, I mean I'm needed, I'm part of something, I'm validated and I'm accepted, I bring value.

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So all that did was just fuel that and I was operating from that place, so I was willing to spread myself so thin because it was fulfilling something that I avoid that.

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I had inside of me, emotionally and mentally, that I had not even scratched the surface on addressing, and so I just continued that pattern, man, for so long.

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And I guess what?

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That's what they say when you're in your 20s, you're supposed to do that, right, you're supposed to go a hundred miles an hour and have all the experiences and do all the things.

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And I did.

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And now, at a stage of life where, you know, I'm married and I have two kids, and you know, and there's just different priorities and different responsibilities, now I'm making sure that I stop and, you know, really reflect on the journey, reflect on conversations that I get to have with people, whether it's the first time we've spoken or the 15th time, it doesn't matter.

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So, you know, I think it's something that we all have to practice and it is a practice Like you literally have to practice it and you have to be intentional, you have to be mindful of it.

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It doesn't have to be sitting in a dark closet, you know, and it can be in your car and turning off the music, turning off a podcast, as much as I know you want people to listen to the podcast.

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But you know, just disconnect for a few minutes, that's all it takes and just kind of find gratitude and reflect.

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And that's something I'm really trying to practice every single day.

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Yeah, the silence, I think, is scary for a lot of people.

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They just don't know what's going to happen when they sit in that silence and do that reflection.

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You lose some emotion as you're outside.

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Thank you, I'm.

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I like the guy that said that.

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Yeah, he just said that it's like yeah, and you know you hear people say be still, still, be still, and it's like deal.

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But are you really listening?

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Are you really listening to what your mind is telling you?

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Are you really listening to what your heart is telling you, what your body is communicating to you?

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Are you really being honest in that moment?

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It's like people say I go to therapy and I'm like well, that's great, you're going to therapy, but are you can, you can fool a therapist, right?

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You can go into therapy and tell the therapist everything that you want them to know, and they're just all they're doing is you know?

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It's like I saw this thing with Tony Robbins, where he did this exercise in an interview, where he told the person that was interviewing him he said look around this room and see if you can find anything, anything that's brown.

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And so the guy looks around and he's like all right.

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Tony's like did you find anything that's brown?

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He said, yeah, I did.

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And he's like well, did you see anything that was red?

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And the guy was like no, and he was like all right, now look around and see if you find anything that's red.

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So the guy looks around.

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He's like did you find anything that's red?

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And he's like, yeah, and he's like, see, whatever you're looking for, you will find to validate it.

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Whatever narrative you want to feed yourself, you find a way to validate it.

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Right.

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You go on Google, anything on Google, it will validate whatever thoughts you have.

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So you have to be very careful about that.

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So for me, it's not just simply being in stillness, like.

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I like to gather as much information.

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I know this is probably going to be edited in the timeline, but when Valentine's Day comes around and you think about the people, for me I think about the people that are in my circle that I love, that love me unconditionally, that I value what they have to say, that I value their constructive criticism.

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They've equally value mine, and so I like to gather that information.

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What are things that I need to do better?

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What are things that I need to do differently?

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What are things that I got to work on as a human being to be able to better show up?

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And then I go oh, when I sit, still, I have those honest conversations, although I've always remembered the details of the day that I was injured, but it really took a few years for me to connect the dots, and what I mean by.

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That is when I was injured.

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I was trapped inside of a burning Humvee for five minutes, completely conscious, screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs.

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I remember through the front of the Humvee I can see chaos in front of the Humvee and it was just people just running around because three of the guys that were in the Humvee with me had been thrown out of the vehicle all at various distances and then they didn't know for a long time where I was.

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So everybody was trying to find me.

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I was trying to get away from this Humvee as well, because we had all of this ammo that was heating up and now it was starting to shoot off.

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You know these 50 cal rounds which you don't want one of those on you and you know.

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So every there was just all this chaos and I remember in the midst of me screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs and trying to fight for life and stay alive, like I could just see people chaotically just running around.

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And there would be several instances over the course of that five minutes where my eyes would get heavy.

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I would just get, my eyes would get heavy.

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I mean, we've all can relate to.

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You know, being in bed or being on the couch and watching TV and you're like, starting to get sleep in your eyes, on the verge of closing, and you're fighting, you're fighting, you're fighting them.

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Before you know you're like, and then you know you're deep into sleep, and then you do that, startle yourself and you wake up.

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But for me, I found myself getting so weak and I closed my eyes.

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But all that was is my body.

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I just couldn't fight anymore and I was losing.

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I was losing all strength and energy that I had to continue to scream and continue to fight and hold on.

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But something so interesting is in in those several moments when my eyes would close and they were closed, it was like this calmness and this peace.

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And then, all of a sudden, I would remind myself wait, if I keep my eyes closed, that's it, I'm giving up, I'm going to die.

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And so I would open my eyes and I would continue to scream and yell at the top of my lungs.

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But what that taught me and I didn't realize this years later was that you could be in the most, the most difficult, painful situation that you've experienced in your life, and there's all this noise and chaos around you.

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But in the mix of that.

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You can still close your eyes and go inside and create silence and create stillness.

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And so for a lot of people that are watching this, that you know, or in a stage where they have kids or you know, there's a lot of you know work and and and there's a lot of responsibilities and people needing you and do this and do that.

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I mean it's like there's a lot of noise out in the world and we have to find the time to just create stillness and close our eyes and just be present with what we're feeling and remind ourselves that, hey, you know what?

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I've survived a lot of things already.

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This isn't my first rodeo.

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This is a different rodeo, maybe a different city I'm you know I'm doing this in, but nonetheless it's the same concept and all I got to do is just open my eyes and continue to hang on and continue to show up.

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And you know, listen, man.

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I mean I was evacuated.

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I started the Medevac process.

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I ended up in San Antonio, texas.

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I was in the medical induced coma for three weeks and when I came out that's essentially when I got to that point, when they told me I wasn't going to be allowed to stay in the army and that I was going to, that this was my body and I was going to be thrown out into what we refer to as the civilian world, you know, with no resources, no tools, no nothing.

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And I was 22 years old when I got out of the military.

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I spent more time.

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I actually spent more time on dancing with the stars than I did on active duty, because I joined in September of 2002, right after high school, and literally I did basic training till December of that same year.

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January I was assigned to my unit and March I was on a plane deploying and April I was injured.

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So literally, I mean, I was in country less than a month.

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So I spent more time, like I said, on dancing with the stars, which you know.

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You probably want to spend more time on that place than you know on a deployment, but nonetheless, man, I mean you know.

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So that's, you know, that's what's really fascinating for me is like, in that sense of kind of circle back where we started.

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In regards to like reflection.

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I think that's the thing that when you allow yourself to stop and pause and reflect, you're able to connect a lot of dots and then you're able to remind yourself that you're capable and you have every tool that you need to be able to overcome whatever adversity life is throwing at you in the moment.

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Yeah, and reflection can be used in not just for time of maybe crisis or whatever.

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Right, this is also the time to like sit down, reflect and celebrate maybe some of these you know accomplishments that you've had in life.

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Absolutely, I think we tend not to do that.

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We tend not to celebrate.

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You know our lives very well, the accomplishments that we've had, we just like onto the next thing, Just keep driving forward.

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Well, it's interesting because, you know, as a speaker, most of the time, you know they play an intro video and it's this really it makes me look like a badass man, like it's this montage, like a video, of all these photos and video clips of things that I've done.

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And I watch that, whether I'm backstage, backstage, whatever, and I watch that and I'm just like wow, and the music that they put on it and it's just, I mean I come on stage and people are like yeah, yeah, they're all pumped up because the music and the photos and the videos and it's just a it's recapping my life up to this point.

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And you know, I say I say to people almost all the time I was like, you know, it's interesting because it's really awkward for me sometimes to watch that video and it's because we're not conditioned in many ways to celebrate those victories, right, a lot of us, I mean there's some people that are like perfectly fine, telling everybody what they've done and over and over and, over and over and over, right, and we know a few of those people, but they're but, but I think a lot of us were so careful with how it's going to be portrayed if we talk about the things that we've done and things that we've accomplished, that we just maybe kind of keep those things in.

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And you know, I've noticed that sometimes, for me personally, when I watch that video, I'm like all right, just just get the video over with and let me come on stage and let me do my thing.

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And I've had to work through that.

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I really had to work through that.

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And now I get on stage and I'm like how cool it be if every single one of us had a highlight video, had an intro video, had a montage video where you played it.

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Every time when you got up in the morning, before you did anything, before you had coffee, before you got the kids up, before you made breakfast, before you checked your phone or your email or whatever, you literally watched that video and you're like hell, yeah, I'm a badass man, I've done some cool things and we all need that video, we all need that reminder.

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And so, you know, for me, I'm just like and trying to encourage people to really pause and reflect on the things that they've done.

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And you know and I think that's what happens is that, you know, we think that every piece of adversity, every challenge that we're faced with, is different from the last and in reality it's really not.

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I mean, maybe the root of what caused it is different, but nonetheless it's challenging and it's difficult and there's a lot of as I like to refer to the day that I was injured a lot of rebirth that comes into the equation and what that means is that there's something that has to end, there's something that no longer is going to be, and I don't mean this dramatically and I want to be respectful of people that have actually lost loved ones and people they care about.

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But I'm just saying, like an opportunity no longer is there, right?

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Like I mean, there's so many things that just you know, like roles of parents, I mean, godly, I mean, that's one of the things that I've experienced personally.

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One of the things I witnessed from other people, is that, as parents, we're so accustomed for so long to take care of our babies and then they become, you know, adults and we still talk to them and treat them like their baby, because it's what we need and we for them, and now embrace the new role where all they need from us is just to listen and to be encouraging and to maybe come watch the grandkids or, you know, maybe come help them figure out how to do this or that.

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But you know so, there's always something that ends.

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When I think of rebirth, don't think of, oh, something's ending, something's dying.

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I want you to think of, yes, something's ending, something's dying, but it's making room for the new opportunity, for the new birth, for the new wave of blessings that are coming your way.

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And so, for me, that's the way I think of rebirth.

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I think of yeah, this may be ending, okay, cool, that's difficult.

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And so I think that's that, because that's part of life, you have to grieve everything that you've known for, however long, and it's been part of your identity, and it ends.

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You have to grieve it, and that's natural.

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But then I also find myself like all right, cool, I've had my party.

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Now let me welcome the new opportunity that's coming, because I know it's coming.

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Yeah, I think that's very important to grieve some of those things that you're losing and not just like once again pack those away and not look at them and not deal with those emotional stuff with it and just keep moving forward.

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Right, that's kind of the stuff that builds up or sneaks up on you, yeah.

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And I mean, listen, we're all conditioned to do the job which I love that you have but for so long, especially people in the United States, thought of post-traumatic stress as something that only applied to military personnel or first responders.

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And I think, more and more, especially since COVID affected the entire world, I think all of us realize, oh no, post-traumatic stress is something that's very real to every single human being, and it's trauma that comes in very different ways, but nonetheless, we can all relate to what that is like, right?

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I mean, how many parents have lost?

00:20:45.727 --> 00:20:53.807
And my mother lost a daughter, my wife lost her younger sister passed away unexpectedly.

00:20:53.807 --> 00:21:03.846
And then you start to unfortunately, you start to realize there's a whole community of people that have lost children at different ages, and so there's that group of people.

00:21:03.846 --> 00:21:18.291
But then, okay, so the way that they lost somebody is maybe different than a military family that lost a loved one overseas or in training or anything, but nonetheless, just because it happened differently, you still lost a child.

00:21:18.291 --> 00:21:20.047
So you connect on that level, right.

00:21:20.047 --> 00:21:40.092
And so I think people started to really realize like, oh man, law enforcement, firefighters, military personnel, the front lines trauma that they experience, oh, they live with guilt because maybe they couldn't save this individual or maybe, because they didn't do this, someone else got injured or, unfortunately, lost their life.

00:21:40.092 --> 00:21:41.906
Well, how many of us live with guilt?

00:21:41.906 --> 00:21:46.884
Man, if I would have done this or if I wouldn't have done that, this wouldn't have happened, that wouldn't have affected them.

00:21:46.884 --> 00:21:49.526
And listen, there's so many.

00:21:49.526 --> 00:21:55.886
There's so much intersectionality between all of us, but it's because we're just all doing the same thing.

00:21:55.886 --> 00:22:01.029
We're living life and when you're living life, there's going to be a lot of that intersectionality.

00:22:01.029 --> 00:22:06.134
So you really hope that people start to open up in regards to knowing that.

00:22:06.134 --> 00:22:09.223
Hey, maybe this is the best way to summarize it.

00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:30.390
My father-in-law was 27 years, nypd and accomplished, was a badass, was tough as nails and exterior-wise, even when he retired, I'd catch him still looking around like he was on patrol and looking around and people would come up and they would talk to him.

00:22:31.121 --> 00:22:39.906
He'd be like hi, hi, just really kind of stoic in that approach and for so long when he lost his daughter.

00:22:40.628 --> 00:22:47.977
One of the sound bites that he would always share with me and my best friend is I'll talk to somebody.

00:22:47.977 --> 00:22:55.047
But I want to talk to somebody that has experienced exactly what I have and, from my point of view.

00:22:55.047 --> 00:23:21.570
I would always say to him I was like I think when you have that mindset, you're closing yourself off from the real opportunity to connect with somebody else that has had the same experience, has maybe lost a child, but it wasn't in the same way, like they don't have the same background as you, maybe they didn't lose the child the same way, or maybe they haven't lost a child at all, maybe they just can be just a set of ears just to listen to you and just you know.

00:23:21.570 --> 00:23:34.166
And so I think for me, I just want people to understand like, hey, don't close yourself off from a possible connection with another human being just because they haven't walked mile for mile, step for step in your shoes.

00:23:34.166 --> 00:23:37.847
That individual was there in your path for a reason.

00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:44.729
You think some of that would reduce the stigmatism of seeking help for mental health.

00:23:44.729 --> 00:23:47.512
What's that Sorry?

00:23:47.512 --> 00:23:57.290
So do you think that would like help in the stigma you know for mental health, for people wanting to seek mental health, if they have maybe a little more open mindset on that?

00:23:59.364 --> 00:24:02.588
Yeah, listen, you know I'm in a stage now.

00:24:02.900 --> 00:24:11.093
I've been practicing this for a very long time and leaning into it even more now.

00:24:11.093 --> 00:24:32.390
But this word vulnerability, you hear it a lot and you know, and you know I spoke at a conference of like 1500 frontline personnel from, you know, law enforcement to firefighters, to dispatch, I mean everybody that is a part of that system.

00:24:32.390 --> 00:24:51.730
They had a big conference and I spoke at this conference and I remember when I got off of the stage I had a lot of the attendees come up to me and say we've had a lot of speakers over the years but no one, no one, shared the level of depth and vulnerability that you have.

00:24:51.730 --> 00:24:54.346
And that was really surprising to me.

00:24:54.346 --> 00:24:59.182
And I remember talking to my team about that and I'm like how is that possible, like.

00:24:59.182 --> 00:25:09.192
And then what came into my mind was then maybe people hear the word vulnerability, they maybe just don't really know what it really means or what it feels like, and they're afraid.

00:25:09.192 --> 00:25:17.910
They love to throw the word out, but they don't really love to sort of lean into what vulnerability actually is.

00:25:17.910 --> 00:25:34.272
And so for me, I've been vulnerable and in the only way and I don't expect anybody to just who's completely closed off to just start going to every public space and start telling everybody what their trauma is and what your experiences are, what you're coping with.

00:25:34.272 --> 00:25:41.381
No it stages and you can't look at my life and say JR is so open and honest about the challenges.

00:25:41.381 --> 00:25:47.548
He was experienced, and not just the glory things and not all the beautiful things than the shiny things, like that trophy right there.

00:25:48.059 --> 00:26:01.501
I'm talking about when I was 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, and I was angry and I was drinking and I'm not proud of this, but I would get behind a wheel and I would, you know, drive and I was just.

00:26:01.501 --> 00:26:25.185
I would lash out at people, I'd want to fight people and just because I was lost and I was struggling and I didn't know how to connect with people and allow people to understand what I was dealing with, and so I just continued to do it and eventually, over time, it took my best friend that created a safe space for me, that allowed me to be vulnerable, and what he encouraged me to do was cry.

00:26:25.185 --> 00:26:27.425
He just said, man, you need to cry.

00:26:27.425 --> 00:26:29.064
I was like I'm going to need to cry.

00:26:29.064 --> 00:26:30.588
I'm 24 years old, I'm not crying.

00:26:30.588 --> 00:26:32.419
I'm crying about what?

00:26:32.419 --> 00:26:34.126
And then, jerry, I just started crying, man.

00:26:34.126 --> 00:26:35.255
I don't even know why I was crying.

00:26:35.255 --> 00:26:40.166
I just started crying and so that was the foundation.

00:26:40.166 --> 00:26:50.803
That was the foundation, that was the start, and I've since then have tested all these other periods in my life with different people, different audiences.

00:26:51.525 --> 00:26:53.671
Just trying a little bit more vulnerability here.

00:26:53.671 --> 00:26:55.165
See how people receive that.

00:26:55.165 --> 00:26:56.924
Try a little bit more vulnerability here.

00:26:56.924 --> 00:26:58.765
See how people receive that a little bit here.

00:26:58.765 --> 00:27:09.307
Okay, so, the size of like 25 to 50 people that are strangers, embrace it, accept it, receive it, like just nourish it.

00:27:09.307 --> 00:27:13.724
Okay, let me now I'm speaking to 150 people Let me see if I'll try it there.

00:27:13.724 --> 00:27:16.547
Oh, there's people, are same things happening?

00:27:16.547 --> 00:27:20.848
Okay, now I'm getting to these bigger audiences at this stage of my life and my career.

00:27:20.848 --> 00:27:23.670
Let me try it with 2,500 people.

00:27:23.670 --> 00:27:26.067
Let me try it with 20,000 people.

00:27:26.067 --> 00:27:46.192
People are flooding me with Instagram messages and flooding me with notes to my website, or maybe they've catch me after the event and they're like, man, that level of vulnerability, and I'm like, oh, so then I'm slowly getting empowered Every single time I try it to say, oh, this is what people want.

00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:47.404
People want and we hear this.

00:27:47.404 --> 00:27:53.209
All the people want to know who you are and what you're dealing with and what you're overcoming on a day to day basis.

00:27:53.209 --> 00:28:06.769
And so for me, I think that if we can all try to practice a little vulnerability in your safe space, in your safe circles of people that you love and trust but understand and know, there are going to be some people that are not equipped to receive that.

00:28:06.769 --> 00:28:08.683
There are some people in your circle.

00:28:08.683 --> 00:28:09.767
You love them.

00:28:09.767 --> 00:28:10.750
They're great people.

00:28:10.750 --> 00:28:18.647
They're not the person that is emotionally and mentally capable at this stage in their life to receive that and to show up for you.

00:28:18.647 --> 00:28:30.143
Like I have friends that I know if I'm going through, if I'm having a day man, I'm not calling them because I know when I want to have fun, I want to joke and I want to clown, that's who I call.

00:28:30.143 --> 00:28:34.109
But if there's something really weighing on me, these are the list of people.

00:28:34.109 --> 00:28:37.249
So I kind of have like a category in my context list.

00:28:37.249 --> 00:28:40.689
These are the people I reach out to when stuff's getting really heavy.

00:28:40.689 --> 00:28:43.368
It doesn't mean I can't call them to celebrate stuff.

00:28:43.368 --> 00:28:48.310
It just means, like I know that emotionally and mentally that's my crew.

00:28:48.310 --> 00:28:52.048
When I want to have fun, you know, then this is my crew.

00:28:52.048 --> 00:28:54.467
Over here I want to joke around, kind of keep it surface.

00:28:54.467 --> 00:28:55.644
This is my crew here.

00:28:56.220 --> 00:29:12.349
Once you start to learn to identify that and separate those people and put them in that space, then you start to not tap the same well over and over and you don't get frustrated because you have these false expectations of going to Jerry, expecting Jerry to be a chameleon that's going to satisfy everything.

00:29:12.349 --> 00:29:18.663
And the reality is Jerry, at this stage in life, can only fulfill one or two things, not everything that you need.

00:29:18.663 --> 00:29:34.732
But the only way you learn how to identify those individuals you have to try it, and I think that if we're able to just try that, then I think more people are able to listen and say, oh man, like, oh, you know, that's interesting.

00:29:34.732 --> 00:29:40.808
How many times have you been in a conversation and you say something to somebody and somebody goes oh, you know what, that's interesting.

00:29:40.808 --> 00:29:42.685
I never really thought about it like that.

00:29:42.685 --> 00:29:46.189
Or I mean that, is it right there?

00:29:46.420 --> 00:29:50.852
All of a sudden, now you've connected as human beings.

00:29:50.852 --> 00:29:59.209
That's way beyond what we're so accustomed to do, which is just to be like how you doing and to be like I'm good, all right, great, have a good day.

00:29:59.209 --> 00:30:00.884
No, how are you doing?

00:30:00.884 --> 00:30:07.005
Oh man, today's rough man, there's a struggle like you know this or that, oh man, you know what?

00:30:07.005 --> 00:30:12.829
Me too I had that the other day, or I'm going through that now, or maybe oh, I'm sorry to hear that, jerry.

00:30:12.829 --> 00:30:13.672
And then guess what?

00:30:13.672 --> 00:30:17.122
Two days from that conversation, now I'm going through it and now I'm like Jerry.

00:30:17.122 --> 00:30:22.480
Remember, a couple of days ago you told me that thing, man, I literally am experiencing that right now, all of a sudden.

00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:25.530
Now you're connected as human beings and that's what we need.

00:30:25.530 --> 00:30:26.862
We need, you know.

00:30:26.862 --> 00:30:28.064
I know the audience a lot.

00:30:28.064 --> 00:30:35.409
For the most part, you know it is.

00:30:35.409 --> 00:30:40.705
I want to encourage family members, I want to encourage those individuals that wore that uniform, that found themselves in that space.

00:30:40.705 --> 00:30:58.768
Practice vulnerability, just practice positively, daily practice vulnerability, try it.

00:30:59.320 --> 00:31:14.961
There's the trust me, but nonetheless you're going to get to that route and if you continue to show up and practice that, you think showing vulnerability is means something different for everybody to have their, their levels of right of vulnerability of like who, who they're around, how vulnerable they want to be.

00:31:14.961 --> 00:31:32.096
Not just it's takes a little bit of practice, maybe, to be vulnerable up in front of, like, a large group of people 100%, 100% and for and for a lot.

00:31:32.196 --> 00:31:38.830
It's where our life is not going to put this on a scenario where we're going to be vulnerable in front of hundreds of people.

00:31:38.830 --> 00:31:40.915
Right, it's, you know.

00:31:40.915 --> 00:31:49.387
You know people talk about leadership a lot and and and what I try to really reframe the thought.

00:31:49.387 --> 00:31:57.064
We can go really in depth about leadership and really unpack a lot of terms and a lot of stuff, but the most basic form of leadership is modeling the way it's.

00:31:57.064 --> 00:31:58.148
It's how do you show up.

00:31:58.148 --> 00:32:05.330
It's it's how do you move and navigate through the spaces that you occupy, how do you respond to.

00:32:05.592 --> 00:32:16.742
I mean, how many times have you in your life been in a briefing and just to kind of see how other people are responding?

00:32:16.742 --> 00:32:19.938
You see someone kind of like roll their eyes or make all these little gestures.

00:32:19.938 --> 00:32:26.786
I mean, and all of a sudden, now that's in your head, now you're not even listening to the person given the briefing anymore.

00:32:26.786 --> 00:32:31.715
Now you're asking yourself the question why is he or she like?

00:32:31.715 --> 00:32:32.498
Why did they do that?

00:32:32.498 --> 00:32:33.266
What's going on?

00:32:33.266 --> 00:32:34.851
What's that really about Now?

00:32:34.851 --> 00:32:37.184
Now you know, so you're now completely so.

00:32:37.184 --> 00:32:41.703
That person now has affected you and if it affected you, there's a possible.

00:32:41.703 --> 00:32:58.595
Now you are now looking and gazing and trying to make sense of what you just witnessed.

00:32:58.595 --> 00:32:59.597
So it's like leadership.

00:32:59.597 --> 00:33:10.089
Man is not just looking at these individuals that have these big platforms, whether it's through social media or a title or a position within any organization.

00:33:10.089 --> 00:33:11.813
All of us are leaders.

00:33:11.813 --> 00:33:24.181
And it starts at home, like whether it's just you and a spouse, you and a partner, you and a kid, you and your kids, you and your family, and then all of a sudden, you and your friends.

00:33:24.181 --> 00:33:33.813
Then it starts to sort of branch out and sort of spill into all these other areas and maybe your level of vulnerability is always going to be within your family nucleus.

00:33:33.813 --> 00:33:35.616
Maybe that's where it really is going to be.

00:33:35.616 --> 00:33:43.548
Maybe I know there's stay at home parents, right, moms and dads that are staying at home take care of the kids.

00:33:43.548 --> 00:33:54.768
Maybe that's your circle, maybe that's where you practice vulnerability and that's just as impactful as the JRs and the jerrys of the world that are probably reaching a lot of people.

00:33:54.768 --> 00:33:56.853
But we're not reaching your circle.

00:33:56.853 --> 00:34:05.537
But if you can reach your circle, hey, we're all doing the good work, we're all moving in the same direction.

00:34:05.537 --> 00:34:07.507
You know we're saying that.

00:34:07.507 --> 00:34:11.217
Yes, I mean it has to start small, just like anything.

00:34:11.217 --> 00:34:18.425
It has to be this daily practice and the small practice before you can eventually evolve and before you can eventually.

00:34:18.425 --> 00:34:26.030
And maybe the evolution is not the size of people you're being vulnerable with, maybe the evolution is what you're sharing with people.

00:34:26.773 --> 00:34:28.958
Listen for so long and I'll be completely honest.

00:34:28.958 --> 00:34:32.492
Man, it's easy to look at 19.

00:34:32.492 --> 00:34:34.239
My life turned upside down.

00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:35.443
How did you overcome that?

00:34:35.483 --> 00:35:02.824
And what I like to take people back is I like to tell people like a lot of the challenges I experienced for the first 19 years of my life I mean that's overlooked because of this big catastrophic thing that happened in my life but I look at those moments were moments that were really traumatic because they were my youth and they prepared me in many regards for that big catastrophic moment, that thing, that injury and allowed me to overcome it.

00:35:02.824 --> 00:35:23.137
But it also the foundation was a little cracked man and I didn't really start to realize a lot of that stuff until my mid 30s and when I started to go into the therapy and I started really being honest about some of the things that I experienced in my youth and things that I just completely, just dismissed and just buried for so long and just tolerated.

00:35:23.137 --> 00:35:27.610
And I'll be honest, and here's a level of vulnerability I love my mother to death.

00:35:27.610 --> 00:35:29.012
I love her.

00:35:29.012 --> 00:35:33.728
She is always going to be my queen, always going to be somebody.

00:35:33.789 --> 00:35:51.119
As a single mother that I saw struggle and deal with so much trauma, she experienced so much advert.

00:35:51.119 --> 00:35:58.829
But I also can say that my mother and I because I was a source where she dumped everything on she lashed out.

00:35:58.829 --> 00:36:06.143
I was the safe zone where she could just attack me and dump on me and I just tolerated it because that's the way I was conditioned as a child.

00:36:06.143 --> 00:36:13.766
My mother, I mean, listen, I'm going to be honest and this is stuff that I haven't shared for a very long time.

00:36:13.766 --> 00:36:24.967
And I know, again, 40 years old, all of us you're 40 and older you'd be like, yeah, my mom and my dad whooped my ass and that was normal, and if they didn't put their hands on you, they didn't love you.

00:36:24.967 --> 00:36:27.652
That's the way we were conditioned.

00:36:27.652 --> 00:36:37.967
But and then you got the younger than me that are like, oh you know, they start calling civil service right away, child services right away.

00:36:37.967 --> 00:36:39.295
They got a little speed dial there.

00:36:39.295 --> 00:36:41.224
They're quick to go to social media or do something.

00:36:41.364 --> 00:36:44.697
But you know, my mom put the way she put her hands on me.

00:36:44.697 --> 00:36:47.610
I mean, listen, man, it was not healthy, it was not safe.

00:36:47.610 --> 00:36:54.418
And she allowed other people to put their hands on me and I mean this from a physical standpoint of like, like whooping me and beating my ass.

00:36:54.418 --> 00:37:05.601
I mean mom, um, literally would tie my hands and my feet so I couldn't get away, because of course it hurt and she would take like whatever she could find.

00:37:05.601 --> 00:37:07.485
And it wasn't like a switch which we all joke about and laugh.

00:37:07.485 --> 00:37:13.485
I mean she grabbed a little rope that she find and just hit me and I'd go to school with bruises on my arms, on my back.

00:37:13.485 --> 00:37:16.465
I mean that's how I would go to school, but I was conditioned, I had to protect her.

00:37:16.465 --> 00:37:21.367
So I would change in gym class or PE or football practice.

00:37:21.367 --> 00:37:23.949
I change in the corner so no one would see and no one would know.

00:37:23.949 --> 00:37:28.152
Because I needed to protect her, because that's the way I was conditioned to protect.

00:37:28.152 --> 00:37:33.197
And I just always continue to protect her, even though she lashed out.

00:37:33.356 --> 00:37:44.583
And then it wasn't physical, because my mother's 4 foot 11 and even though she's leaked the 4 foot 11, you know, and I'm 5'9, you know she was like, alright, maybe physically is not the way I'm going to get this dude.

00:37:44.583 --> 00:37:54.358
But then she started very much but then she started verbally attacking me and verbally saying things and she's just hurting and she just lashing out and I know, I know where it comes from.

00:37:54.358 --> 00:38:06.481
She's struggling, but unfortunately her pride and her ego has gotten away and is preventing her from getting the help that she deserves and she deserves that and life has been pretty unfair to her.

00:38:06.481 --> 00:38:14.271
But she just verbally, just throws stuff at me and says hurtful things and it got to a point where one day I was like man.

00:38:14.271 --> 00:38:17.675
I realized that's the root of a lot of the things that I'm dealing with.

00:38:17.675 --> 00:38:23.661
And so I went to therapy and I remember the therapist and I was like I said I was like 30.

00:38:23.661 --> 00:38:36.853
I was actually my early 30s and the therapist she was like in her prime mid 60s and very quiet and and I joke, all the time I was like man.

00:38:36.853 --> 00:38:41.556
I, every time I left therapy I was like I want to marry her, like she was like she.

00:38:41.556 --> 00:38:48.621
It was just amazing, like I just love, like everything she extracted from me and my life and my experiences.

00:38:48.641 --> 00:38:52.282
I remember the first time she said you need to establish boundaries with your mom.

00:38:52.282 --> 00:39:02.480
And listen, I'm Hispanic man and I'm not saying that this is just a cultural thing but, like I know, everyone loves and values their mother and their parents and they put up on this pedestal.

00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:11.320
But definitely I know within my culture there is no such thing as boundaries with your queen, with your mother, that you don't do that.

00:39:11.320 --> 00:39:13.586
And I was like, what do you mean boundaries?

00:39:13.586 --> 00:39:22.414
And she broke it down and she said, listen, you've been in an abusive relationship and this isn't healthy for you and it's not fair to you.

00:39:22.414 --> 00:39:28.860
And I remember the first time I told my mother, when she called me, she just started just saying things to me, just because she was afraid.

00:39:28.860 --> 00:39:30.786
My mother has been afraid.

00:39:30.786 --> 00:39:39.059
She was just afraid she was losing somebody else in her life because her little boys all growing up and she doesn't need to coddle him the same way and take care of him.

00:39:39.059 --> 00:39:40.621
I don't need her the same way.

00:39:40.621 --> 00:39:42.485
I still needed her, not the same way.

00:39:42.485 --> 00:39:44.387
And she was just afraid.

00:39:44.387 --> 00:39:48.054
So her tactic was let me attack him and make him feel guilty.

00:39:48.054 --> 00:39:49.918
So he stays and he doesn't leave.

00:39:51.085 --> 00:39:55.653
And I would always fall into that cycle of like I'm sorry, mom, even though I did nothing.

00:39:55.653 --> 00:39:56.514
I didn't do anything.

00:39:56.514 --> 00:39:57.677
I don't need to apologize.

00:39:57.677 --> 00:40:01.327
I'm sorry, mom, and how can I make it better?

00:40:01.327 --> 00:40:08.579
And then I was conditioned when I got some success, jerry, I was like well, I'll buy you things, or I'll buy this for you all.

00:40:08.579 --> 00:40:15.016
I'll take you on this trip, or I'll do this or I'll do that, thinking that was going to be the solution.

00:40:15.016 --> 00:40:18.429
And I learned, oh, that's not the solution.

00:40:19.010 --> 00:40:29.168
And I remember the first time my mother started, like she was like called, saying like mom, I gotta establish boundaries.

00:40:29.168 --> 00:40:30.150
This isn't healthy.

00:40:30.150 --> 00:40:40.679
Like I'm more than happy to talk to you about things that we want to do, where we want to go with our relationship, where we want to go individually, like how we want to grow things like that.

00:40:40.679 --> 00:40:43.202
But I'm not going to continue to revisit the past.

00:40:43.202 --> 00:40:48.797
And when I told her that, she was like fine, that I'm going to tell everybody I don't have a son.

00:40:48.797 --> 00:40:53.427
Oh, and this is after.

00:40:53.427 --> 00:40:55.070
Like this is after I was on dancing.

00:40:55.070 --> 00:40:57.815
This is after I wrote a book that was a New York Times bestseller.

00:40:57.835 --> 00:41:22.958
This is after I was an actor on these shows, like rad visibility, I had platform and I'm like wow, and the thing that really kind of allowed me to have like empathy for her was there's a guy named Caleb Campbell and he grew up in Texas and kind of had similar upbringing, played sports, big, big sports guy.

00:41:22.958 --> 00:41:29.612
And then I'm going to West Point, played ball there and, you know, tried out in the NFL.

00:41:29.612 --> 00:41:35.018
I think he had like a couple short stints with, but now he's a bigger.

00:41:35.018 --> 00:41:42.150
Look at my salad dude awesome dude years ago.

00:41:42.150 --> 00:41:48.195
And then randomly I live in Austin, randomly, like during 2020 or 2021.

00:41:48.195 --> 00:41:57.748
And I'm like that's Caleb and so I go up to him.

00:41:57.748 --> 00:42:00.231
We, you know, talk, we exchange information.

00:42:00.550 --> 00:42:09.960
I had him on my podcast and he said one of the things that he did with his mother is he changed her photo and her contact.

00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:16.914
So when she calls him before, every time she called he saw her picture in her name.

00:42:16.914 --> 00:42:18.496
He would get like a pit in the stomach.

00:42:18.496 --> 00:42:30.818
And I related to that because that's how I felt and I was walking on eggshells and there's an amazing book that's called, that's titled walking on eggshells and and I, when I read that book, I related to it so many ways.

00:42:30.818 --> 00:43:05.980
And he said what he did is he changed the photo of his mother's contact to her as a child Because it allowed him to put his guard down and realize that that was probably the last time she was just felt loved, felt supported, felt safe, felt encouraged, felt like innocent, where there was so much possibility in the world, and I thought that that was such a beautiful, simple way of allowing yourself to show up for somebody and kind of putting your guard down.

00:43:06.545 --> 00:43:08.291
Now, have I done that with my mother?

00:43:08.291 --> 00:43:15.873
Yes, I have, but my mother has not reached out and you know, that's where pride and ego gets in the way, and that's one thing about our culture as well.

00:43:15.873 --> 00:43:20.880
We're incredibly prideful and we're not, and to a to a fault, to a degree.

00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.485
But listen, man, I just shared that with you.

00:43:23.485 --> 00:44:00.099
I don't we just met, we just met five minutes before we went live and, yeah, and I don't know your audience and they don't know me, but I'm comfortable sharing that without, you know, worry of judgment or worry of anything, because it's on, it's my authentic truth, it's who I am, it's part of what I've had to overcome and but it's part of what's made me strong, what's made me be able to have empathy for people that Are struggling and, you know, be able to see them as more than what we see in that, in that very moment when we interact with them, and I think that's that's what life should be about.

00:44:00.786 --> 00:44:01.909
Yeah, yeah, definitely.

00:44:01.909 --> 00:44:03.012
Thank you for sharing that.

00:44:03.012 --> 00:44:03.253
Those.

00:44:03.253 --> 00:44:10.211
I found some value into myself, right, different perspectives, right, we everybody coming from a different place.

00:44:10.211 --> 00:44:20.242
But they can like hear that story and probably think a piece about that, about their how they interacted with their parents and relate to that which is great about being vulnerable.

00:44:20.242 --> 00:44:23.391
Jarrett, what are people going to find in your book?

00:44:26.045 --> 00:44:29.432
Man, they're gonna find those stories and you know, you know honestly, jerry.

00:44:29.432 --> 00:44:30.795
So it's been.

00:44:30.795 --> 00:44:35.088
It's been, you know, a little red decade when I wrote that book.

00:44:35.088 --> 00:45:06.936
And so I'm at the stage of life now where I want to sit down and write more and what I realize when I wrote that book then, a lot of stories and that book of adversity, the challenges that I experienced in my youth, the adversity challenges I experienced, you know, through my injury post, my recovery, up into a certain point, right like it's up until that point.

00:45:06.936 --> 00:45:09.860
But there was so much more that has transpired since I wrote that book.

00:45:09.860 --> 00:45:15.074
So I think there's just gonna be more depth and more understanding that.

00:45:15.074 --> 00:45:32.380
And the reason why I wanted to, like I said in the reason I talk about Everything that happened prior to my injury, is because I want people to understand that, oh, I too have had a lot of those similar experiences, or I know someone has those little experiences.

00:45:32.380 --> 00:45:43.545
Don't misinterpret them and refer to them as little, thinking that they don't hold weight or hold value or you know, no, no, no, you put all those little things Together.

00:45:44.347 --> 00:45:59.132
It's like I told my daughter that my daughter plays she plays club, travel, select, whatever people call it softball and and I coach her and this season she was like, hey, I want to play fly football.

00:45:59.132 --> 00:46:00.295
So we're like, all right, cool.

00:46:00.295 --> 00:46:10.253
So there was one weekend where both of our quarterbacks were out so and they're like, hey, we're gonna ask your daughter to play quarterback.

00:46:10.253 --> 00:46:13.818
And I was like man, she hasn't thrown a football like she can catch it and run it.

00:46:13.818 --> 00:46:22.914
But so her and I, before the game, we're out in the backyard and I'm kind of running routes and and she's throwing a beautiful spiral.

00:46:22.914 --> 00:46:25.016
I mean hit me leading me, boom money.

00:46:25.016 --> 00:46:25.918
I mean, like God, leave.

00:46:25.918 --> 00:46:29.481
Better than some of the quarterbacks in the NFL and there's a lot of bad ones out there.

00:46:29.481 --> 00:46:31.485
You know, and you know, and I'm like man, she's doing a good job.

00:46:31.485 --> 00:46:35.914
Well, of course, in the game I mean it's different when you have a rusher coming at you.

00:46:35.914 --> 00:46:38.619
So she's panicking, she just tossing it up.

00:46:38.619 --> 00:46:39.842
She threw like three picks.

00:46:39.842 --> 00:46:41.344
I mean it, we lost the game.

00:46:41.344 --> 00:46:46.291
I mean we only lost by a touchdown to a boys team, which was actually impressive.

00:46:46.291 --> 00:46:54.360
But you know, I, she, I said to her when we got home that night I said I want to just real quick, just celebrate you.

00:46:55.106 --> 00:46:59.871
And what I want to point out is you know, life is made up of all these little moments.

00:46:59.871 --> 00:47:16.398
We like to believe it's all these major events that happen and, yes, those are player role, but it's these little moments and you've had so many little moments so far at an 11 years of your life, and today was one of those moments.

00:47:16.398 --> 00:47:18.202
You've never played quarterback.

00:47:18.202 --> 00:47:19.983
Your team needed you to play it.

00:47:20.003 --> 00:47:33.485
You showed up and even though it wasn't going the way you wanted it to go, the way you dreamt about it, fantasized, I'm sure in your head, you still showed up, you still took another snap, you still tried to make it the past that you needed to make.

00:47:34.206 --> 00:47:39.081
You never pouted, you never said take me out, you never said I quit, you never threw a fit, you never should.

00:47:39.081 --> 00:47:44.550
You never showed that and I was like that kid, that kid, you continue.

00:47:44.550 --> 00:47:56.204
And there's all these other examples that I pointed out for her and I was like that is going to be the thing that when you're our age, you're going to be the person that you are because you continue to show up and those moments like that.

00:47:56.204 --> 00:48:05.215
So this book is about those little moments, and I hate using the word little, but you know it's because they're not so little.

00:48:05.215 --> 00:48:06.175
They're big moments.

00:48:06.175 --> 00:48:32.726
So it's just a lot of depth and a lot of detail for people to understand JR and kind of what shaped him and what conditioned him to be the person that he is today.

00:48:32.726 --> 00:48:35.494
Now, right, a lot of things.

00:48:46.777 --> 00:49:18.505
It's a really beautiful space Really yes, it's just a city training with me and then, after a basic training, he got stationed overseas and then I was stateside and then we lost on time because this is 2000.

00:49:18.505 --> 00:49:44.887
But he didn't even know I was injured and for years we would connect and we'd talk and share time together and then he was still in the military and he'd go off to his deployments and I'd give him feedback and he'd take that and he'd be like yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:44.887 --> 00:49:47.094
But then he would just kind of ghost me for a long time.

00:49:47.094 --> 00:50:02.512
And about three years ago, around Christmas time, I woke up one morning for messages on my Instagram, on my Facebook, through my website, and it was him and he says hey, man, I need to talk.

00:50:02.512 --> 00:50:07.978
And so I immediately called him and man, it's been like it's been a couple of years.

00:50:07.978 --> 00:50:11.516
I mean I can't remember when he reached out in 2020 or 2021.

00:50:11.516 --> 00:50:21.190
So you know, three, four years it's been of us working, working and like both of us are working to help him.

00:50:21.309 --> 00:50:34.219
He struggled with addiction and it was the hard stuff and it was also alcohol and relationships and he has a son and there was just a lot of stuff.

00:50:34.219 --> 00:50:41.889
But I can probably say he's in a space now where he's going to school, he's clean, he has a healthy relationship with his son and he has his moments.

00:50:41.889 --> 00:50:44.536
He has his moments, as we all do, because he's a human being.

00:50:44.536 --> 00:50:49.628
But he knows he can call me because I've already shown up and I've already proven to him that I'm a safe space.

00:50:49.628 --> 00:50:55.324
I tell my boy I love him Like.

00:50:55.324 --> 00:50:56.851
I tell him that I'm like man, I love you man.

00:50:56.851 --> 00:51:02.969
And you know, at first as a dude he's like yeah, I like to, you know, he's just kind of like mumbling, keeping it under your breath.

00:51:02.969 --> 00:51:05.096
And now he's like no, man, I love you too.

00:51:05.096 --> 00:51:05.969
And I'm like, yeah, I love you man.

00:51:05.969 --> 00:51:08.873
And my best friend taught me that.

00:51:08.873 --> 00:51:10.961
You know, my best friend taught me that.

00:51:10.961 --> 00:51:13.007
Now I'm helping pass that on to others.

00:51:13.047 --> 00:51:29.492
And I think the reason I mentioned that story is because, whatever organization you find yourself a part of, you have to be able to show up for each other and you can't just say I'm going to show up for you.

00:51:29.492 --> 00:51:33.552
You have to prove it, you have to show it Right.

00:51:33.552 --> 00:51:40.045
I mean, it's, it's, it's it's, you know, you could talk about things all day long and we know that right.

00:51:40.045 --> 00:51:41.652
It's like, how do you show it?

00:51:41.652 --> 00:51:47.786
And you got to let people feel that, no, we're connected forever, man, and I got you.

00:51:47.786 --> 00:51:52.036
As long as you're trying, I'm trying with you and we can try together.

00:51:52.364 --> 00:52:12.273
And I think I've experienced in my time in the military where there was individuals that honestly there's no other way to put it but just kind of just went a term we used went AWOL on me after they, after they said, no, we, I will always be there for you and we were always connected and I'll always show up for you.

00:52:12.273 --> 00:52:15.447
And they weren't, they just left.

00:52:15.447 --> 00:52:18.753
And part of that is because they didn't know how to show up for me.

00:52:18.753 --> 00:52:25.612
And I think that's the other thing that if you want to show up for somebody but you don't know how to show up, you're overthinking it.

00:52:25.612 --> 00:52:38.128
All you need to do is just literally show up, just walk into the room, just walk it up to them, say hello, talk to them, tell them you're there for them, like, share a little bit about your life.

00:52:38.128 --> 00:52:47.791
That's the modeling, the way, and over time you'll start to realize they'll start to trust you and just stop thinking and just start doing it, start showing up.

00:52:47.791 --> 00:52:50.050
That's the biggest thing I would encourage everyone to do.

00:52:50.831 --> 00:52:52.764
Yeah, yeah, jared.

00:52:52.764 --> 00:52:57.134
Where can people find you and follow you and see what's going on and where you're speaking?

00:52:58.115 --> 00:52:59.018
Yeah, I appreciate that, man.

00:52:59.018 --> 00:53:02.293
So JRMartinezcom is my website.

00:53:02.293 --> 00:53:05.052
Obviously, I'm on social at.

00:53:05.052 --> 00:53:07.668
I am JRMartinez, so encourage everyone.

00:53:07.668 --> 00:53:08.452
I really do, man.

00:53:08.452 --> 00:53:09.869
I love interacting with people.

00:53:09.869 --> 00:53:11.737
I love hearing what people have to say.

00:53:11.737 --> 00:53:12.764
I love conversation.

00:53:12.764 --> 00:53:21.014
I mean, I've enjoyed this conversation with you and I want to thank you for having me on the show as well and giving me an opportunity to connect with your audience.

00:53:21.014 --> 00:53:25.943
But I really encourage people to hit me up on my website, hit me up on Instagram.

00:53:25.943 --> 00:53:29.659
I am JRMartinez and just connect and just share.

00:53:29.659 --> 00:53:35.070
And if there's something you feel compelled you want to share or you want to tell me that I was wrong about something, do that too.

00:53:35.070 --> 00:53:35.552
That's fine.

00:53:35.552 --> 00:53:38.032
I'm not going to do that.

00:53:38.032 --> 00:53:39.708
We can have a conversation about it.

00:53:39.708 --> 00:53:46.034
But I just encourage people to reach out and connect, because I value the opportunity to have a conversation with every human being.

00:53:46.735 --> 00:53:52.987
Yeah, I appreciate that and I value being so vulnerable and willing to tell your story and I know there's.

00:53:52.987 --> 00:54:06.190
We probably could go on for hours about your story, because you've done a lot of great things and been through a lot, so I really appreciate you sharing that with us and being the model for vulnerability.

00:54:06.190 --> 00:54:06.932
I appreciate that.

00:54:07.907 --> 00:54:09.427
Well, thank you man, thank you very much.

00:54:09.427 --> 00:54:12.751
It's life is incredibly rewarding.

00:54:12.751 --> 00:54:16.994
We just have to trust and just keep continuing to show up and find your people.

00:54:16.994 --> 00:54:18.326
Find your people.

00:54:18.326 --> 00:54:22.315
But you got to find your people by practicing a little vulnerability.

00:54:22.315 --> 00:54:28.431
That's how you start to filter things out and filter people out, and so don't be afraid of making those hard decisions.

00:54:28.431 --> 00:54:32.472
You're capable, you got it, and I hope that we connect on social.

00:54:32.472 --> 00:54:35.432
If not, you know, maybe we'll see each other in person.

00:54:35.432 --> 00:54:36.014
You never know.

00:54:36.545 --> 00:54:37.730
It's a small world out there.

00:54:37.769 --> 00:54:39.347
Man, that's right.

00:54:39.347 --> 00:54:41.052
Thanks again, awesome.

00:54:41.092 --> 00:54:41.452
Thank you.

00:54:41.452 --> 00:54:43.708
Thanks again for listening.

00:54:43.708 --> 00:54:48.594
Don't forget to rate and review the show wherever you access your podcast.

00:54:48.594 --> 00:55:15.751
If you know someone that would be great on the show, please get ahold of our host, Jerry Dean Lund, through the Instagram handles at Jerry Fire and Fuel or at EnduringTheBadge podcast, Also by visiting the show's website, EnduringTheBadgePodcastcom for additional methods of contact and up-to-date information regarding the show.

00:55:15.751 --> 00:55:25.534
Remember, the views and opinions expressed during the show solely represent those of our hosts and the current episode's guests.