From Struggle to Triumph: Dr. Robb Kelly on Rewriting Life Scripts and the Neuroscience of Change

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Welcome to today's episode of Enduring the Badge podcast.

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I'm your host, jerry Dean Lund, and if you haven't already done so, please take out your phone and hit that subscribe button.

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So if you would do that, I would appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.

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My very special guest today is Dr Kelly.

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How are you doing, dr Kelly?

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Great.

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Thank you, jerry.

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Thanks for having me.

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Hey guys.

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Yeah, thanks for being on, Dr Kelly.

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Introduce yourself to the audience.

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My name is Dr Rob Kelly.

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I specialize in depression, addiction, childhood trauma, stuff like that.

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From Manchester, england, but, as you can tell by the accent, I live in San Texas now but I do have the five offices around the world, love what we do because we do what we love.

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So this is about helping people.

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So, even on podcasts like this, I don't sell services, I don't sell books.

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It's just like if I can have one person through this that build my job, we don't need your money, we don't need your business.

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It's like this is just to help other people.

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So sit around guys, listen to one of the best podcasts you've ever listened to yeah, yeah, I love it.

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So, dr kelly, what is it that you do?

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so I'm a psychologist and behavioral scientist.

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So basically what we do is we rewire brains and the circuitry, uh, we change, uh, behavioral science we use to change our behavior.

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And then we go back and we uncover, discover, discover the trauma in the past.

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So you know, we also heal any addictions, any depression and, like I say, childhood trauma is the gateway drug.

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So we're really big on that.

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If you want to put a cap on all of that, it's all about neuroscience.

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We specialize in neuroscience and that's what we found permanently changes brains from self-sabotage to positive life, happy life, wealthy, healthy all that great stuff that we all chase.

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Yeah, yeah, we definitely all chase that, for sure, dr Kelly.

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You have your own little personal story on kind of maybe what led you to this.

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Yeah, you know I'm an alcoholic and I took my first drink at the age of nine Alcoholism in the family and it kind of was good.

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You know the first I was playing bass with my auntie and uncle at nine years old, on stage with them, you know, and I went to we do 13 minute spots, went on for the first eight minutes, so nervous, biggest crowd I've ever played in.

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Uncle gave me a beer, went on, second half killed it.

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So then alcohol became my best friend, went through life, you know, just always drinking weekend and it's up to 12, 13, 14, 15, like through through teenagers just drinking.

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When I went out with the band my auntie and uncle just hop a little beer every week got me through.

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And then through school I was not being amazing, but music I was good and then got to college by a skin in my teeth for somebody you know, somebody kind of thing.

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Not because my own academic, you know I wasn't, I wasn't a a college guy if I know me, but it's kind of who you know it's been.

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The story of my life is who you know, not kind of what you know.

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And then, you know, eventually got married drinking every day, had two children drinking every day.

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And then, uh, we split up and I got my children for the weekend and I messed that up drunk on the floor please kick the door down took my children off me, um, and from there wife divorced me.

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I went to parents and I left the house and everything and eventually I was homeless.

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So I was homeless for about 14 months, and when I say homeless guys, I really it's not couch surfing, I really mean like sleeping on the bushes, you know, on park benches, just surviving every day to drink.

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That's all I did.

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My main purpose, from my eyes opening, uh, to when I passed out, was get alcohol, and that's what I did for 14 months.

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I hurt people.

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For money for alcohol, I would steal alcohol.

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I did a lot of stuff there on the streets I'm not proud of, did a lot of stuff in the house with my wife that I'm not proud of, uh.

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But yeah, eventually it all went wrong yeah then.

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So you got into college and then was this something that you studied in college or was this something that you that came later?

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uh, yeah, I was.

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I was in college before the homelessness, I studied psychology and after that it's kind of I don't want to say 10 years, after that, eight years maybe.

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Then that's when it started to go wrong.

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It was just I was alcoholics.

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And addiction is nothing like you think it is, guys.

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We studied the neuroscience behind it.

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Alcohol has 1% to do with alcohol.

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Alcoholism the same with any other addiction.

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The only problem, the only difference, is alcohol we have the predisposition, um, and the basal ganglia is is different and we have that, um, we have that uh, you know crazy head, that attention to alcohol that we can't leave.

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So I'm like this mind that always wants to drink and self-sabotage.

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As soon as I do, my body gets sick and I'm actually allergic to.

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I'm born allergic to the ethanol in alcohol, but the moment I drink, if you're a real alcoholic now, you can't drink yourself into becoming an alcoholic.

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Can't do that.

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People think we can.

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Oh Johnny on the road, he's an alcoholic, he drinks every day.

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And oh Johnny on the road, he's an alcoholic, he drinks every day.

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Not true?

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Alcoholism is the only self-diagnosed illness in the world.

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Can you take the first drink and stop?

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The answer is no.

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Try three generations back in the family If you find an alcoholic, there's a good chance that you can self-diagnose yourself as being an alcoholic.

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So the neuroscience behind addiction.

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Can we dive down into that a little bit more and explain what that really is and means?

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So we have the alcoholic that's born with three parts of the brain that differ Hypothalamus, basal ganglia and the amygdala.

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So when it comes to addiction, childhood trauma is the gateway drug every single time.

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Then we have the addict.

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So alcoholics are born, drug addicts are made.

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Then we have the addicts with the addictive personality and the addictive brain.

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So they both show up the same because they both can't stop and it's causing havoc and we become homeless and stuff.

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But that definition of the alcoholic canada, it's slightly different, it's not all the same.

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Alcoholic canary, it's slightly different, it's not all the same.

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So what we have to do is usually there are billions of new pathways, but usually 80 percent of alcoholics and drug-related pathways are self-sabotaging.

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So if I stop alcohol, drinking alcohol, I'm still left with me.

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So then I'll relapse because of old behavior.

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So we have patterns.

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Uh, from We'll find that young children, toddlers, start to recognize patterns in what they do and the pattern to sell a sub-assortment will always stick.

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So when these things happen to us as a child or 9, 10, 11, 12, around that area, there comes a pattern and a working part of my mind that this is how that's supposed to be.

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So my mom and dad used to drop their friends on a friday night and used to go out drinking and pick us up on saturday.

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It was a great thing for them to do, but what they didn't know and I thought was normal is the people that got dropped off.

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I used to make us.

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There's two or three kids there.

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They could all dress naked and run around the house and be called a chasing game or something and they would get us in ticklers and you know, kind of in our private area.

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We just thought that was normal.

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So, years on, when I'm acting out of this and nobody knows why it's because of this, but you would never put that together.

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Like I would never take my shirt off, even when it's bodybuilding, I would never take it off because they made me take it off and that gives me um.

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So yeah, it's.

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It's all about connection and patterns.

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It's like when you go out guys, either school or you know a guy's out into the seaside or something, and you get there and you have a few drinks and have fun.

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When you get back on the bus, which seat you're sitting?

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You're sitting the same as you traveled to the extent is, if somebody sat there, you go hey, that's my seat.

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That's the kind of patterns that we use.

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So we have to break the patterns we direct in your pathways, sort out the childhood trauma and then give uh, give the future to us.

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Really, it's like what we can do, because we think we're capable of this.

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When we're capable of this, you can achieve mind, which is energy, and power over the brain, which is matter.

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That's where the same comes on mind over matter.

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We can program the mind.

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First thing in the morning is what we do and teach to affect how we start off that day.

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With neural pathways in the brain, then we can have a great day every single day.

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My I work with over 8 000 patients, by the way, guys, over 30 years.

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It's not just like a little practice.

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We have five practices.

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We deal with high-profile people, movie stars, and we also give 25% of the business back to people who can't afford it.

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So we work with them as well, free of charge.

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And, yeah, we found that there is a 97% success rate and the nearest one to us is 11%, because of all the new science that we've learned and experience, because you know, I was one of them guys.

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Yeah, experience definitely counts for a lot.

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Oh yeah, People don't believe that I go to college and I become a therapist.

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What are you going to specialize in?

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Alcoholism?

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Have you ever been an alcoholic?

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No, forget it, forget it, forget it.

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You're not going.

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It's like a semester at Harvard University, because the knowledge and stuff I learned there can become my greatest asset to help other people.

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Yeah, yeah, definitely.

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How does this neuroscience work, really?

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well, it kind of works.

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Like you know, the brain is supposed to act a certain way and the gut is supposed to act a certain way in the central nervous system, but we got distorted over the years and years and years when they found there was an alcoholic gene, obviously.

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So it's about mostly subliminal message that the subconscious brain picks up, but not conscious brain.

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So you've got a conscious brain, subconscious brain.

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Everything we do is hidden from birth.

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I can't remember that.

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It's there.

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It's there for everything bad and good, mostly fine, but alcoholics and addicts is stored there, okay.

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And here's living in the now.

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So you're hearing 12 step for 24 hours at a time.

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That's not a 12 step.

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Saying that comes way back, but it's not an aACA, not an NACA.

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It comes years and years before that where we found out that today is only really what we've got.

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And if we can live in today and live in the now and be in our own essence, then life becomes amazing, because all these opportunities that we never saw become visible to us.

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It's like I ask people when you come to the office, how many red cars did you pass?

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I have no idea.

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When you go home, or it's a spot and count how many red cars you see coming.

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Oh my God, I saw like 20.

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I never saw any weather.

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That's because you're looking for that.

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So, living in the now, we're looking for that opportunity.

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We're looking for all the things that are sent to us by God, universe, uncle Jimmy, whatever it is, we start to see them opportunities.

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So what most people do after they work with us is they create empires.

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Because that's how the brain has been changed so much that we now believe that we can do anything and anything is possible.

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You know, 10 years ago people used to always snap back Anything is possible.

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You want to do?

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Well, I can't be president of the United States.

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That's the biggest one.

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They always used to tell me Well, forget your political views for a second.

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Guys, we had a freaking business and ran the country for four years with no political experience whatsoever.

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Don't dare tell me that you can't be whatever you want to be.

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It's just not true.

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But then we rely on the trauma.

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You're never good enough.

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You're a waste of time.

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Who wants to listen to you?

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So, subconsciously, it's like we're never blonde enough, tall enough, thin enough, original.

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And that's how I live my life Since I got the first $100,000 in the bank, wifey, I'm going to be happy and that's it.

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So we got $100,000.

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When I, when I get quarter of a million, I just want a quarter, I just want a million.

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It's crazy how the mind works, is we never seem to have enough.

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Well, living in the essence and living in today, I have a lot of.

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I have something that not a lot of people have, and that is enough.

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I have enough.

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I don't come here to sell our program.

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I don't come in here to sell anything at all.

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I have enough.

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And when you live in that place, all that crap, we worry about all that.

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Do I look?

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Okay to go out?

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Nobody cares.

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The door slammed.

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I always thought they were looking at me.

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Nobody cares, they've got their own stuff going on.

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You know it's crazy and we think we're that important.

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So alcoholics and addicts and children we get two lives in one lifetime.

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We get the first thing.

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That's all messed up.

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We're homeless, almost dead.

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I died on two occasions.

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They brought me back to life, hated them.

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So we have this second life.

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Why would you mess a second life up?

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What can anybody do to you in your second life?

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I'm in my second life.

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What can you do to me that I haven't already done to myself?

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I signed an office deal a few years ago in Dallas.

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That was our main HQ headquarters.

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It was like a million dollars over a period of years.

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And my friend says how do you sleep at night?

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What are they going to do?

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They're going to send me off or something.

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Who cares?

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And that's how I've lived my life for many years.

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I'll do.

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I'll try anything, be anybody I want, because nobody can stop me.

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What are you going to do Take Christmas off me.

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Shut up, behave yourself.

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I love it because there's definitely so much truth to that.

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And first responders the study that I've seen there is quite a few first responders like it's very high percentage have childhood trauma.

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Well, first of all, I just want to correct that Everybody has childhood trauma.

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Well, first of all, I just want to correct that everybody has childhood trauma.

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In high profile jobs or stress job, it's worse because we're more with alcoholics and addicts and depressed people and childhood trauma people when they go into the police or, you know, the fire service, uh, we're still very, um, we're very sensitive and we take things on and keep things.

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So I think a study was done four or five years ago and the highest suicide in the work environment was the police, and doctors were the second and fire was the third.

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Something crazy like that.

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It's like, yeah, we work with first responders.

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25% of our business is giving back to the community, so we work a lot with vets, a lot with first responders.

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We give 25% pro bono Everybody must carry a pro bono in mind but we find that the police I mean, I was a policeman in England for about two years and it's not been there but can you imagine, every single time that you stop a car, there's a potential of somebody killing you.

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And this is what we found with, first of all, so they become hardened.

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And then, when they become hardened and cut off from the future.

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They live in their past of all that crap that we carry, and you know that that cop wasn't very friendly.

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He's probably been shot twice.

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He's probably in a situation that is his life.

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We're on the line right there.

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I have the biggest respect for veterans and first responders, because without them guys, we'd be nothing.

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We've got to live in a free country, so I'm really big on that.

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We don't charge veterans, we don't charge first responders or nurses or doctors.

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We don't do any of that Because without your service, um, most of us would be dead that's pretty awesome that you do that, because I think if you can change a first responders life right there, there's a it's always you change anybody's life.

00:16:41.904 --> 00:16:49.691
There's a trickle-down effect right, especially when someone comes in contact with the public quite often and you're able to change their, their lives.

00:16:49.691 --> 00:16:51.057
I mean, how are they going to treat the public?

00:16:51.339 --> 00:17:06.030
probably the best they've ever treated them yeah, and we, we prove this by uh, you know, if you don't think that's true, guys, and you can't change the world on a daily basis, I want you to do this for me next time you're going to build a pair of people, I want you to look at sneakers.

00:17:06.030 --> 00:17:06.692
They're always the best.

00:17:06.692 --> 00:17:08.916
Find somebody towards you with nice sneakers.

00:17:08.916 --> 00:17:09.939
Go hey, man, nice sneakers.

00:17:09.939 --> 00:17:11.382
Hey, man, nice.

00:17:11.382 --> 00:17:13.125
Forwards, he's going to go.

00:17:13.125 --> 00:17:13.768
Oh, thank you man.

00:17:13.768 --> 00:17:15.794
Turn around and watch him walk past you.

00:17:15.794 --> 00:17:18.108
He's going to look at his sneakers at least two or three times.

00:17:18.108 --> 00:17:24.208
Now you've created what's called dopamine in his brain, okay, so now he's a bit happier.

00:17:24.208 --> 00:17:25.229
He looks at his shoes.

00:17:25.229 --> 00:17:28.634
Now he goes on to the girlfriend or wife because he's in a good mood.

00:17:28.634 --> 00:17:29.935
They're in part of the brain.

00:17:29.935 --> 00:17:32.319
Monkey, see monkey, do she now is in a good mood.

00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:35.134
Then mother-in-law calls and you get the picture.

00:17:35.134 --> 00:17:39.367
Now you've just affected probably 30 people's lives with four words.

00:17:39.367 --> 00:17:40.852
But we don't do it.

00:17:40.852 --> 00:17:43.357
We don't compliment people, we don't say hi to strangers.

00:17:49.105 --> 00:17:50.169
That was a beautiful well, not beautiful story.

00:17:50.169 --> 00:17:52.596
A guy, uh, wanted to go to the golden gate bridge and throw himself off and kill himself, and so he did.

00:17:52.596 --> 00:17:55.489
When they shipped him out of the water.

00:17:55.489 --> 00:17:59.218
He found out who he was, went back to his apartment to try and find next of kin.

00:17:59.218 --> 00:18:18.347
When they got there, they found a letter on the kitchen table and it read I'm gonna walk to the golden gate bridge and I'm to throw myself up and die, unless on the way there, about four miles, somebody smiles at me, says hey, hello, good morning, I'll stop and turn back.

00:18:18.347 --> 00:18:27.278
So my question to the general public is this how many people today have you walked past heading to the Golden Gate Bridge?

00:18:27.278 --> 00:18:31.405
So we never know what people are going through and we think they already know.

00:18:31.405 --> 00:18:33.692
So a smile, you know.

00:18:33.692 --> 00:18:36.690
Hey man, nice sneakers, or speaking on the elevator.

00:18:36.710 --> 00:18:37.332
I'm the guy.

00:18:37.332 --> 00:18:38.255
Is everyone okay on?

00:18:38.275 --> 00:18:38.454
here.

00:18:38.454 --> 00:18:40.548
Shut up, man.

00:18:40.548 --> 00:18:42.494
I'm that guy because you never know.

00:18:42.494 --> 00:18:44.327
The words are very powerful.

00:18:44.327 --> 00:18:47.746
It can change the chemical makeup of somebody.

00:18:47.746 --> 00:18:53.375
You know when you say or speak to them and you'll never find what you've done.

00:18:53.375 --> 00:18:54.738
I can bet this.

00:18:54.738 --> 00:18:58.857
Guys, you've stuck quite a few people heading towards a golden gate bridge, that's for sure.

00:18:59.924 --> 00:19:14.576
Yeah, I do definitely believe that and I try to go out of my way to engage with people, or people that like at the store, like the cashier that everybody like takes for granted, and just say hey hi, how are you doing, how's your day going?

00:19:14.576 --> 00:19:20.938
Like you know, just talk like I feel like as a normal human being, to another human being.

00:19:20.938 --> 00:19:34.566
You know, a little small conversation, gosh, I mean it's, it's great, especially when even when you receive right when people say something about you like that you know, it's a funny story behind that, because what happened?

00:19:35.227 --> 00:19:47.548
jerry's, I my main office in dallas, so I went there about six years ago over there and, uh, the staff, amazing and a new girl as a nurse joined us and she was kind of looking at everything that was going on.

00:19:47.548 --> 00:19:52.073
This guy walked in, he was suicidal and he was down and he was shaking.

00:19:52.073 --> 00:19:55.431
He walked into my office and an hour later he walked out.

00:19:55.431 --> 00:20:04.570
He's high-fiving the nurses, he's chatting with the reception and the new nurse said to the old nurse oh my God, did you see what Dr Rob just did?

00:20:04.570 --> 00:20:05.991
Did you see?

00:20:05.991 --> 00:20:07.773
That's amazing.

00:20:08.575 --> 00:20:11.458
And the other words said yeah, I know right, have you told him that?

00:20:11.458 --> 00:20:13.660
Oh, I mean, oh, he already knows.

00:20:13.660 --> 00:20:14.681
Oh, I don't know.

00:20:14.681 --> 00:20:23.246
I mean, nobody knows.

00:20:23.246 --> 00:20:24.588
I just want to put it out there, guys, nobody knows.

00:20:24.588 --> 00:20:28.259
So compliment, everybody you think already knows, because we don't, and they're the people that need it most.

00:20:28.259 --> 00:20:41.945
Anybody who's leading anybody in a position that's leading other people into whatever you're doing team leaders, police officers we all need a good validation or approval from the next person, especially if we don't know them.

00:20:41.945 --> 00:20:45.131
It's amazing, but we don't know, guys, we don't know.

00:20:46.673 --> 00:20:47.093
I agree.

00:20:47.093 --> 00:20:52.141
A lot of first responders shy away from the public right.

00:20:52.141 --> 00:20:56.217
Especially when they're off duty, they want to be in solitude.

00:20:56.217 --> 00:20:59.314
Do you know why that is or what could be causing that?

00:21:00.285 --> 00:21:04.957
Anybody that's in an environment that's threatening for eight hours a day on YouTube will pull away from that environment.

00:21:04.957 --> 00:21:08.292
So that's what most people do.

00:21:08.292 --> 00:21:10.410
I generally I'm careful.

00:21:10.410 --> 00:21:12.155
I say it don't like people.

00:21:12.155 --> 00:21:14.328
You know I will never go to these.

00:21:14.328 --> 00:21:15.413
Oh, what I've been this.

00:21:15.413 --> 00:21:17.628
You know all the treatment centers a bit.

00:21:17.628 --> 00:21:19.314
I don't do that smoothly.

00:21:19.314 --> 00:21:20.096
I don't like people.

00:21:20.096 --> 00:21:21.910
You know some people can be horrible.

00:21:21.910 --> 00:21:22.752
Some people are great.

00:21:22.752 --> 00:21:24.625
I choose animals over people.

00:21:24.625 --> 00:21:29.310
Before you start shouting comments at Jerry, it's because I've seen so much.

00:21:29.310 --> 00:21:32.993
I've seen so many people let me down Because we do good.

00:21:32.993 --> 00:21:41.281
There's always people asking for money, always people doing pro bono, and every single person coming from the world I was in the addiction world would let me down.

00:21:41.281 --> 00:21:48.946
So you tend to pull away from that, pull away from that stress and go home and have a few drinks in the early days and try and forget that.

00:21:48.946 --> 00:21:50.169
But that's how people are.

00:21:50.210 --> 00:21:56.209
You know, a friend of mine uh, he ran this a8 group for like five years.

00:21:56.209 --> 00:21:58.278
Me and him opened this group and I tell you what.

00:21:58.278 --> 00:22:02.530
We saved more people than anyone else, connecting them to god or high power.

00:22:02.530 --> 00:22:04.213
And he was the man.

00:22:04.213 --> 00:22:05.176
He did everything.

00:22:05.176 --> 00:22:10.961
He had no money, you know, I used to fund his rent, fund car payments, and nobody knew about it.

00:22:10.961 --> 00:22:11.884
I used to do that every month.

00:22:12.224 --> 00:22:17.646
He died two weeks ago, jerry, and not one person helped For the funeral.

00:22:17.646 --> 00:22:18.932
No money, they couldn't afford it.

00:22:18.932 --> 00:22:20.175
They had no furniture.

00:22:20.175 --> 00:22:22.432
They had to get their own furniture to get some more money.

00:22:22.432 --> 00:22:24.231
Not one person has helped them.

00:22:24.231 --> 00:22:31.237
They did a little barbecue thing that ranked about a hundred dollars, but that's where we step in, you know, and he was right.

00:22:31.237 --> 00:22:34.588
He always said to me you know, you know, if I die tomorrow, I go shut up rick.

00:22:34.588 --> 00:22:46.826
He said no, if me, me or you die tomorrow, in a week's time, in this a8 meeting, they go rob, who you know, rick, who they forget about us and I've just seen it happen in front of my eyes.

00:22:47.048 --> 00:23:08.296
It's crazy yeah, and I think you'll find most first responders and it's probably I know it sure applies to the the corporate world of you leave next person up your bike right replaced, you're replaced, and, and some agencies and departments just like to use that Like you don't like it here.

00:23:08.296 --> 00:23:13.920
You're just a number, go ahead and leave and I think that really is hurtful but crazy for them.

00:23:13.980 --> 00:23:18.073
On Sunday, the only person that's going to remember that you worked hard and worked on Sunday is your kids.

00:23:18.073 --> 00:23:27.171
The boss won't, the company won't, but your kids will, yeah, that's why we can nurture children and be there from as much as we can.

00:23:27.171 --> 00:23:33.525
And I know that's hard these days when usually two parents have to work to provide a house, a lot mortgage, you know.

00:23:33.525 --> 00:23:37.685
But every time you get with them, man, these pressures always be validating and proving them.

00:23:37.685 --> 00:23:40.517
You know it get given routines every day.

00:23:40.517 --> 00:23:41.579
You know stuff like that.

00:23:41.579 --> 00:23:42.483
It's amazing.

00:23:42.523 --> 00:23:54.151
But yeah, I can fully understand that what can, what can people do that maybe are like struggling with their, their self-worth?

00:23:55.252 --> 00:23:56.395
yeah, self-worth.

00:23:56.395 --> 00:24:01.127
So, going back to the memory part, right, we mimic other people around us.

00:24:01.127 --> 00:24:04.161
So if you hang around 90 press people, you will become the 10th.

00:24:04.161 --> 00:24:07.109
You hang around nine successful people, you get the gist.

00:24:07.109 --> 00:24:10.869
So surround yourself with the right person In your group right now.

00:24:11.045 --> 00:24:19.730
If you're feeling less than there's somebody in your group now that doesn't want you to succeed and always slides in them subliminal message like an air shot over air, does he think he has idea?

00:24:19.730 --> 00:24:20.372
And you know?

00:24:20.372 --> 00:24:22.787
You see, we take that in and very sensitive.

00:24:22.787 --> 00:24:26.109
We can't change the people around us, but we can change the people around us.

00:24:26.109 --> 00:24:28.332
So look at your inner circle, guys.

00:24:28.332 --> 00:24:34.897
Your inner circle should be no more than three, maybe four at the most, and then people validating you, lifting you up.

00:24:34.897 --> 00:24:36.460
Are you doing the same for them?

00:24:36.920 --> 00:24:44.365
Once you get surrounded by those people, you'll find your self-worth will disappear as you start to achieve, whatever that looks like Money, kids.

00:24:44.365 --> 00:24:44.786
Get your kids back.

00:24:44.786 --> 00:24:45.247
Be the best father.

00:24:45.247 --> 00:24:46.249
You'll like money, kids, get your kids back.

00:24:46.249 --> 00:24:52.097
Be the best father you'll find yourself achieving, because they do as well, you know, and you're out of circle.

00:24:52.097 --> 00:24:54.079
They're out, but in a circle.

00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:58.742
You must be validating and approving each other every single day, because that's what life's like.

00:24:58.742 --> 00:25:01.592
Certain parts of the brain we set every 24 hours.

00:25:01.592 --> 00:25:02.654
So I get up.

00:25:02.654 --> 00:25:04.330
Tomorrow it all starts all over again.

00:25:04.330 --> 00:25:08.836
So the adoration and thank you and nod and whatever yesterday makes no difference to today's life.

00:25:08.836 --> 00:25:14.615
So you have to start again being that person that talks, being that person that compliments people surrounding yourself.

00:25:14.615 --> 00:25:15.548
Show me your friends.

00:25:15.548 --> 00:25:16.412
I'll show you your future.

00:25:16.984 --> 00:25:25.471
Surround yourself with the people that you want to be like and if you earn 60 grand a year, hand around the guys that earn 100, you'll soon be earning 100.

00:25:25.471 --> 00:25:35.686
And don't be scared of getting rid of anybody around you If they don't match up to your beliefs and your attitude and you're lifting everybody up.

00:25:35.686 --> 00:25:36.308
Get rid of them.

00:25:36.308 --> 00:25:47.992
You don't have to be nasty about it, but get rid of them Because you'll find that you think you have loads of friends and you talk every day on text, but you end up saying the first text stop texting people.

00:25:47.992 --> 00:25:49.296
See how many people text you.

00:25:49.296 --> 00:25:51.087
They're your real friends.

00:25:51.087 --> 00:25:52.569
You'll find out a 9%.

00:25:52.569 --> 00:25:54.708
Don't, by the way, you always start the conversation.

00:25:54.708 --> 00:25:55.926
Cut them out.

00:25:55.926 --> 00:25:57.211
You don't need them in your life.

00:25:58.717 --> 00:26:00.584
Yeah, that's unfortunate.

00:26:00.584 --> 00:26:18.250
The people you know there's some friends, you have friends will use their quotes that you're always reaching out to, that you're always putting into the effort, and then there's nothing really ever given back and those are the kind of the friendships and things that you're talking about that to remove.

00:26:18.971 --> 00:26:22.845
Yeah, yeah, and don't be shy about it, guys, we have one lifetime.

00:26:22.845 --> 00:26:25.337
I'll call it that too, like Stein.

00:26:25.337 --> 00:26:25.941
It guys, we have one lifetime.

00:26:25.941 --> 00:26:27.868
I'll call him that too, like starting, but we have one lifetime, guys.

00:26:27.868 --> 00:26:34.737
How many moms and dads, how many times you keep saying and waving them off to kindergarten next week, next minute, or waiting on to college, or whether that time goes to.

00:26:34.737 --> 00:26:36.202
Time is pressure?

00:26:36.202 --> 00:26:37.708
Today it's about living in the now.

00:26:37.708 --> 00:26:39.836
I have no idea what tomorrow brings.

00:26:39.836 --> 00:26:40.858
I don't get a calendar.

00:26:40.858 --> 00:26:42.544
I'll get my day tonight at 8 o'clock.

00:26:42.544 --> 00:26:43.999
I'm living in the now.

00:26:43.999 --> 00:26:46.960
Once you start to do that, you see the opportunities.

00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:48.361
Surround yourself with the right people.

00:26:48.361 --> 00:26:49.980
Get rid of those people that don't.

00:26:49.980 --> 00:27:01.380
There's always one person an immediate family or close friends that do not want you to succeed, because if you succeeded, then the spotlight's on one, while you all keep messing up Spotlight's on you and they like that.

00:27:01.380 --> 00:27:06.930
So just be assertive, guys, people around you, and mix with who you want to be period.

00:27:08.256 --> 00:27:09.317
Yeah, I mean.

00:27:09.317 --> 00:27:13.728
There's lots of versions of this that you're saying out there, right?

00:27:13.728 --> 00:27:17.703
People are telling you in many different ways to do these same things.

00:27:17.703 --> 00:27:24.196
Worry about your inner circle, and I know you're right, I know you're right about your inner circle.

00:27:24.196 --> 00:27:25.441
You know, and I, and I know you're right, I know you're right.

00:27:25.441 --> 00:27:31.721
I think people really have a hard time with trying to either establish an inner circle or cut people out of their inner circle the.

00:27:31.741 --> 00:27:34.830
The answer to that, guys, is we attract what we think we are worth.

00:27:34.830 --> 00:27:36.896
Think about that for a second.

00:27:36.896 --> 00:27:44.821
So with our childhood trauma, the way for a lot of people, especially alcoholics, to talk to us when we relapse on, we're drinking, you know, we just.

00:27:44.821 --> 00:27:47.528
You have to change that completely.

00:27:47.528 --> 00:27:51.949
You have to try and be the guy that attract people, and anybody can do this, by the way.

00:27:51.949 --> 00:27:56.000
Anybody can do it, unless you have serious brain damage and you can't think for yourself.

00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:56.923
Anybody can do this.

00:27:56.923 --> 00:27:58.395
You want to be a beacon.

00:27:58.395 --> 00:28:02.566
You want to be a lighthouse on that shore where people can see you from miles around.

00:28:02.566 --> 00:28:04.942
Do that smile, do that silly thing at work.

00:28:04.942 --> 00:28:06.711
You know, come dress in your slip.

00:28:06.711 --> 00:28:07.795
I've got my slippers on right now.

00:28:07.795 --> 00:28:08.917
We have monday slipper day.

00:28:08.917 --> 00:28:12.326
I'll create yeah, but when people come in they love that.

00:28:12.326 --> 00:28:13.376
So why don't you do it?

00:28:13.376 --> 00:28:15.080
Attract the people you want to attract.

00:28:15.080 --> 00:28:18.877
Go seek them, you know, and build good friendships and do it.

00:28:18.877 --> 00:28:20.221
Do it today.

00:28:20.781 --> 00:28:22.586
We have a 7.3 second rule.

00:28:22.586 --> 00:28:28.961
We did lots of tests and trials and seven seconds, 7.3 seconds with our golden number.

00:28:28.961 --> 00:28:32.799
We came out that if you want to do something, you've got to make a move in that time frame.

00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:36.915
So if I'm sat there with a bag of chips, you know I'm drinking coca cola.

00:28:36.915 --> 00:28:41.323
Now you know I've got my dog next to me and I turn to my wife and go, hey, I'm thinking'm thinking of hitting the gym tomorrow.

00:28:41.323 --> 00:28:45.190
I'm not hitting the gym, I know it, she knows it, the dog knows it.

00:28:45.190 --> 00:28:59.321
But if I get up right there and then and walk to the bedroom and I put all my training stuff in a bag and I put the bag near the door, I go out every morning, there's a good chance we're going to the gym, because within that 7.3 second time frame it's gone.

00:28:59.321 --> 00:29:03.127
If we don't hunt upon it and strengthen that neural pathway, it's gone.

00:29:03.127 --> 00:29:04.979
That's the way you must live life, guys.

00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:14.007
Do it we don't have time, do it date that girl, buy that house, that car, start that business, get married today, make moves today to do it and you'll never regret it.

00:29:14.007 --> 00:29:16.285
Because I'm telling you guys, I people go.

00:29:16.285 --> 00:29:17.852
You can't have done all the stuff that you've done.

00:29:17.852 --> 00:29:18.715
You must be telling lies.

00:29:18.715 --> 00:29:24.675
I take every opportunity to do crazy stuff that ever comes to me because I never want to be.

00:29:24.675 --> 00:29:26.300
I've wasted most of my life with alcohol.

00:29:26.300 --> 00:29:29.016
I never want to be that guy at 80 years old, going.

00:29:29.016 --> 00:29:31.301
You know, something didn't really do much in her life.

00:29:31.301 --> 00:29:33.287
Now people some people can live.

00:29:33.287 --> 00:29:33.955
I can't live with that.

00:29:34.396 --> 00:29:45.640
And what happens when you help people, what happens when you be of service to other people, is, after 30 years, um, four years ago my eldest daughter contacted me on Messenger.

00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:47.285
I went over to see her.

00:29:47.285 --> 00:29:49.161
She handed me my three-month-old granddaughter.

00:29:49.161 --> 00:29:52.279
Now she works for me as my head therapist in Manchester.

00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:57.619
I have a younger daughter who's never got in contact, but I kept doing and helping people and being the best person I can.

00:29:57.619 --> 00:30:00.762
Three weeks ago I got a message from my youngest daughter.

00:30:00.762 --> 00:30:06.420
So now she's in my life and it's like everything we lose we get back as long as we do the right thing.

00:30:06.961 --> 00:30:08.382
And you know, guys, if you don't.

00:30:08.382 --> 00:30:09.884
You know you still have candy bars.

00:30:09.884 --> 00:30:10.644
That little voice going?

00:30:10.644 --> 00:30:12.767
I don't know, we know.

00:30:12.767 --> 00:30:15.950
You know, when you don't do something nice, be that nice person.

00:30:15.950 --> 00:30:17.971
Don't take any crap of anybody by the way.

00:30:17.971 --> 00:30:20.738
Don't let them do that.

00:30:20.738 --> 00:30:21.499
You have boundaries.

00:30:21.499 --> 00:30:22.240
You step over that boundary.

00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:22.582
Ah, ah, ah ah.

00:30:22.582 --> 00:30:24.946
You're going to call the old Rob out there and you don't want to see it.

00:30:24.946 --> 00:30:26.891
I don't want to see the old Rob, so you don't want to see it.

00:30:26.891 --> 00:30:32.444
So create them big boundaries around you, because if people do something you don't like, who do you blame?

00:30:32.444 --> 00:30:39.262
Well, you blame you, because you have to set them boundaries out so when they cross, they don't know what the boundaries is.

00:30:39.262 --> 00:30:41.645
You know, there it is.

00:30:41.645 --> 00:30:42.567
You've got to do that, guys.

00:30:42.567 --> 00:30:43.448
You've got to live for now.

00:30:43.448 --> 00:30:44.128
Nobody cares.

00:30:44.128 --> 00:30:44.849
Go and do it now.

00:30:46.035 --> 00:30:58.919
Yeah, I've got probably one last question for you to explore and I know people are like thinking how do I live in the now and like what action steps can I take?

00:30:58.919 --> 00:31:04.659
And I love the 7.2 seconds or 3 seconds, like I love the 7.2 seconds or 3 seconds, I love that, get up and take that action.

00:31:04.659 --> 00:31:06.164
What other things?

00:31:07.556 --> 00:31:09.041
I've got three things for you guys before we go.

00:31:09.041 --> 00:31:11.260
It'll change your life for tomorrow.

00:31:11.260 --> 00:31:16.246
One of the reasons nobody's woke up laughing in the morning is lack of oxygen.

00:31:16.246 --> 00:31:22.508
As a human being, we only take in about 45-50% of our oxygen capacity.

00:31:22.508 --> 00:31:27.859
The presence of oxygen in the human body equals the lack of disease.

00:31:27.859 --> 00:31:36.209
So every disease, every illness, every you know ailment in the body, including cancer, start in a hypoxic area of the body.

00:31:36.209 --> 00:31:39.438
So the idea in the morning is to get a hundred percent oxygen.

00:31:39.438 --> 00:31:40.902
Three things here.

00:31:40.902 --> 00:31:44.215
We Get up in the morning, stand next to the bed before you do anything.

00:31:44.215 --> 00:31:45.378
The brain is asleep.

00:31:45.378 --> 00:31:47.423
Oh, you're tired.

00:31:47.423 --> 00:31:51.337
Hold on to the bed, stand and take 20 exaggerate breaths in.

00:31:51.337 --> 00:31:54.683
That's 20 times.

00:31:54.683 --> 00:31:56.507
Flood the brain with oxygen.

00:31:56.507 --> 00:31:59.155
Flood every cell, every nervous cell.

00:31:59.155 --> 00:31:59.576
Flood it with oxygen.

00:31:59.576 --> 00:32:00.478
Immediately, the brain will come to life.

00:32:00.478 --> 00:32:01.078
Every nervous state.

00:32:01.078 --> 00:32:01.599
Flood it with oxygen.

00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:02.942
Immediately, the brain will come to life.

00:32:02.942 --> 00:32:04.723
Now we're ready to go.

00:32:04.984 --> 00:32:05.905
Walk in the bathroom.

00:32:05.905 --> 00:32:08.710
Let's put some stuff in the subconscious brain.

00:32:08.710 --> 00:32:14.458
Lock in the mirror from six feet away.

00:32:14.458 --> 00:32:15.983
Don't go to the mirror when you put your shave and stuff like that.

00:32:15.983 --> 00:32:16.527
We see all our blemishes.

00:32:16.527 --> 00:32:19.718
We subconsciously go out to the world knowing that we see these blemishes.

00:32:20.359 --> 00:32:21.281
When's the last time you went?

00:32:21.281 --> 00:32:22.664
Hey, johnny, good morning, how are you?

00:32:22.664 --> 00:32:27.339
We don't do that, but when we find six feet away from the mirror, our blemishes disappear.

00:32:27.339 --> 00:32:28.463
I love you.

00:32:28.463 --> 00:32:29.999
I love you 10 times.

00:32:29.999 --> 00:32:34.743
It's going to feel silly, you're not going to feel it, but it's storing the subconscious mind.

00:32:34.743 --> 00:32:40.842
So if 300 neural pathways die every day and there are billions in their head, there are billions in their head what are you replacing them?

00:32:40.842 --> 00:32:47.816
300 neural pathways with Same old behavior.

00:32:47.816 --> 00:32:48.638
You're never going to get anywhere.

00:32:48.638 --> 00:32:50.405
So we want to create these new neural pathways, starting in the body.

00:32:50.405 --> 00:33:00.906
Last thing I wanted to do guys, if you're right-handed, for instance, and you brush your teeth with your right one week left, one week right, one week left, one week right your life in a month's time will be completely different to what it is today.

00:33:02.576 --> 00:33:08.683
Those are pretty easy, actionable steps that might but everybody can do gary.

00:33:08.704 --> 00:33:14.265
people think I can't, that's, I can't be interested in three things and the guys I insist on doing all go.

00:33:14.265 --> 00:33:16.612
Oh my god, I'm thinking of starting an empire.

00:33:16.612 --> 00:33:18.059
Oh my god, I've seen that girl.

00:33:18.059 --> 00:33:19.345
I want to date with daisy.

00:33:19.787 --> 00:33:21.894
Things change because we flood with oxygen.

00:33:21.894 --> 00:33:34.868
We change neural pathways, we speak to the internal dialogue and the subconscious brain that we are worthy and all of a sudden you become tall enough, blonde enough, thin enough, rich enough psychologically and then you get wet.

00:33:34.868 --> 00:33:35.897
But not all the people go.

00:33:35.897 --> 00:33:36.420
I have enough.

00:33:36.420 --> 00:33:37.624
I have enough today.

00:33:37.624 --> 00:33:39.761
You know it's crazy, but I have enough.

00:33:39.761 --> 00:33:46.648
And that place is worth every piece of gold in the world, every man of truth.

00:33:46.648 --> 00:33:49.845
It's like a billion dollars every single day that people are getting to you.

00:33:49.845 --> 00:33:51.880
That's the only way to live, guys.

00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:52.782
But I'll tell you what I did.

00:33:52.782 --> 00:33:54.760
Listen if you want.

00:33:54.760 --> 00:33:55.684
I know we're finishing soon.

00:33:56.355 --> 00:34:00.920
If you're at home and you're in a place what we talked about you're in that lonely one bedroom apartment.

00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:02.384
Everybody doesn't like you.

00:34:02.384 --> 00:34:03.788
You think you're never going to amount to anything.

00:34:03.788 --> 00:34:06.836
You might even you know have senses of doing something silly.

00:34:06.836 --> 00:34:14.168
214-600-0210 is my personal cell phone number.

00:34:14.168 --> 00:34:17.378
Send me a text message and this is what's going to happen.

00:34:17.378 --> 00:34:19.222
As you can imagine, I'm busy.

00:34:19.222 --> 00:34:26.166
I'm going to text you back within a couple of hours of you sending me And'm going to arrange a 20-minute pep talk between me and you.

00:34:26.527 --> 00:34:31.626
That will change your life and, you know, if it doesn't, I'm going to send you a hundred dollars for wasting your time.

00:34:31.626 --> 00:34:38.757
You see, I might be, you know, up here now working with all the you know superstars and have money and everything I want.

00:34:38.757 --> 00:34:41.262
But you know something I've always got my feet in the trenches.

00:34:41.262 --> 00:34:45.409
So if you're feeling like that, don't search me, don't Google me.

00:34:45.409 --> 00:34:47.460
Just text me, man, and I'm going to help you.

00:34:47.460 --> 00:34:49.606
I promise you, no one's going to sell you anything.

00:34:49.606 --> 00:34:53.684
Okay, I always said before I'm rich enough, I have enough people around, I'm fine.

00:34:53.684 --> 00:34:54.585
I'm not doing this for that.

00:34:55.094 --> 00:35:05.157
Just text if you're in that place that golden gate bridge guy that stops you jumping off.

00:35:05.157 --> 00:35:10.188
Yeah, wow, I really appreciate that, um, and I hope there are people out there listening that will take you up on that offer.

00:35:10.527 --> 00:35:23.516
Um, I can't imagine what a 20 minute pep talk would be with you all right it'd probably be great, you'd you know you might want to record it so you can listen to it more often.

00:35:23.516 --> 00:35:30.228
And, yes, pep yourself up, dr kelly, though, seriously, where can people find you?

00:35:30.228 --> 00:35:42.224
I mean, you have a presence on online and there's people that are going to want to research you and see what you're doing, and and it's all good stuff so for those guys listening, not watching, I stole my name in two b's.

00:35:42.465 --> 00:35:45.297
R-o-b-b-k-e-l-o-ycom is the website.

00:35:45.297 --> 00:35:47.364
There's lots of things there.

00:35:47.364 --> 00:35:50.815
We have a non-profit rob kelly foundation just started.

00:35:50.815 --> 00:35:51.958
We had other thing.

00:35:51.958 --> 00:35:54.202
We have conferences, speaking and stuff like that.

00:35:54.202 --> 00:35:55.226
So lock us up.

00:35:55.226 --> 00:36:06.300
You know, have fun, dr rob kelly, again, in any search engine will come up and, uh, just if you need to, you know, if you need to go on researchers, find out about us, get to the website.

00:36:06.300 --> 00:36:07.842
There's a book on there.

00:36:07.842 --> 00:36:09.867
It's nine dollars on amazon.

00:36:09.867 --> 00:36:14.407
But you know something if you text us from that website, I'll send you a free, signed copy.

00:36:14.407 --> 00:36:16.800
I'll even pay the postage, the mailing as well.

00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:19.447
So you know everything we can do for you guys.

00:36:19.447 --> 00:36:20.315
I want to do for you guys.

00:36:20.315 --> 00:36:20.635
So go have fun.

00:36:20.635 --> 00:36:20.996
Yeah, for you guys.

00:36:20.996 --> 00:36:21.956
So go have fun.

00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:32.570
Yeah, that is definitely some great offers and right, once again, being the guy who's you know that's life-changing.

00:36:32.570 --> 00:36:40.010
I think Just the simple things from this podcast can change your life and can change the life of others around you.

00:36:40.594 --> 00:36:41.900
Boom baby, let's do it.

00:36:42.262 --> 00:36:44.099
Yes, thank you, dr Kelly.

00:36:44.099 --> 00:36:44.802
This was awesome.

00:36:44.802 --> 00:36:45.960
I really appreciate it.

00:36:47.416 --> 00:36:48.500
Thank you so much, Jerry.

00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:49.764
Thanks guys, Thanks for listening.

00:36:50.074 --> 00:36:51.260
Thanks again for listening.

00:36:51.260 --> 00:36:56.184
Don't forget to rate and review the show wherever you access your podcast.

00:36:56.184 --> 00:37:23.289
If you know someone that would be great on the show, please get a hold of our host, jerry Dean Lund, through the Instagram handles at JerryFireAndFuel or at EnduringTheBadgePodcast, also by visiting the show's website, enduringthebadgepodcastcom, for additional methods of contact and up-to-date information regarding the show.

00:37:23.289 --> 00:37:33.150
Remember, the views and opinions expressed during the show solely represent those of our host and the current episode's guests.