Balancing Control and Surrender: Jeremy Wade on Resilience and Faith in First Responder Lives

WEBVTT

00:00:02.706 --> 00:00:05.052
Welcome to today's episode of Enduring the Badge podcast.

00:00:05.052 --> 00:00:10.349
I'm your host, jerry Dean Lund, and if you haven't already done so, please take out your phone and hit that subscribe button.

00:00:10.349 --> 00:00:12.768
I don't want you to miss an upcoming episode.

00:00:12.768 --> 00:00:15.820
And, hey, while your phone's out, please give us a rating and review.

00:00:15.820 --> 00:00:35.627
On whichever platform you listen to this podcast on, such as iTunes, apple Podcasts and Spotify, it helps this podcast grow and the reason why, when this gets positive ratings and reviews, those platforms like Apple Podcasts and Spotify show this to other people that never listened to this podcast before, and that allows our podcast to grow and make more of an impact in other people's lives.

00:00:35.627 --> 00:00:38.801
So if you would do that, I would appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.

00:00:38.801 --> 00:00:43.311
My very special guest today is Jeremy Wade.

00:00:43.311 --> 00:00:45.643
How you doing, jeremy, really good.

00:00:45.643 --> 00:00:46.286
Thanks for having me.

00:00:46.286 --> 00:00:47.762
Yeah, thanks for coming on.

00:00:47.762 --> 00:00:50.790
Tell the audience a little bit about yourself and what you're doing.

00:00:52.261 --> 00:00:54.506
Yeah, I appreciate this opportunity.

00:00:54.506 --> 00:01:01.505
Jeremy Wade, I'm the Executive Director of Mission First Alliance, a non-profit.

00:01:01.505 --> 00:01:10.584
My background that got me here to where I'm at today started in the Seattle area where I'm born and raised.

00:01:10.584 --> 00:01:16.944
My wife, our four kids are all born and raised in that area and I worked for the Seattle Police Department for 13 years.

00:01:16.944 --> 00:01:38.602
I got hired at 26 years old in 2008, a week after our second child was born and I was all in, loved everything about the job, had some big things happen in critical instance in my first couple of years and just loved everything about the job.

00:01:38.602 --> 00:01:45.093
I was all in, you know, just loved it.

00:01:45.554 --> 00:01:56.024
But I definitely felt, you know, some struggles early on in my career and saw some of the other police officers in my department struggling with things just as negative impacts that come from the job.

00:01:56.525 --> 00:02:42.746
And I think that while I had my goals and my hopes and my dreams for my career early on in my first couple of years being a young officer, I think that it took a hard turn and I definitely went another direction with my career, just coming alongside and supporting and serving other officers on the department and their families on the department and then first responders in the region and around the country and their families on the department and then first responders in the region and around the country, and I just have such a heart for those that serve and sacrifice every single day for our communities and just saw firsthand some of the impacts, for the ways that it can affect us, affect our families, affect just our lives in general.

00:02:42.866 --> 00:02:48.663
So, yeah, that was some of my career in the Seattle Police Department.

00:02:48.663 --> 00:02:59.152
I worked in patrol mostly out of the East Precinct, which was the precinct that we gave up in that chop chas through the riots in 2020.

00:02:59.152 --> 00:03:10.993
And then I had to spend a couple years training all of our brand new officers that were first hired as recruits and through going through the Washington State Academy and through field training.

00:03:10.993 --> 00:03:19.775
Loved everything about that to just come alongside them and support them and direct them and train them in their first year on the department.

00:03:19.775 --> 00:03:35.016
And then my last five years on the department, I was one of our two full-time peer support coordinators, had the opportunity to train our whole department in resilience and wellness as mandatory in-service training in 2018.

00:03:35.016 --> 00:04:01.841
Riots hit in Seattle had an opportunity, with a few others, to launch and start our very first wellness unit in the Seattle Police Department, which was just all of it, felt like it was so timely and just so needed because of all the challenges and the struggles that we faced there in the department.

00:04:02.581 --> 00:04:06.789
Yeah, yeah, definitely a challenging time that you went through.

00:04:06.789 --> 00:04:07.531
So where are you?

00:04:07.531 --> 00:04:08.453
What are you doing now?

00:04:08.453 --> 00:04:09.314
Where are you at today?

00:04:10.341 --> 00:04:15.875
Yeah, we, a little bit over two years ago, we stepped out in faith.

00:04:15.875 --> 00:04:18.420
We moved across the country to Tennessee.

00:04:18.420 --> 00:04:35.721
We're in Cleveland, tennessee, now, and I just continue to feel that burden to where I loved all the opportunities to support officers and family members on the department, their peer support and resilience and wellness and all of that.

00:04:35.721 --> 00:04:49.141
And I love seeing the direction that our culture is going in more support, more trauma support, more addiction recovery support, more family support just so much more support.

00:04:49.141 --> 00:05:03.970
But my Christian faith is so important to me and I struggled in my faith in the first couple years on the department where it took me over two years to meet another Christian officer.

00:05:03.970 --> 00:05:21.620
I just realized that my identity was all wrapped up in the badge and the job and what it entailed and put that above my wife and my marriage and my kids and just every other aspect of my life which just had everything out of balance.

00:05:21.620 --> 00:05:32.529
And God got a hold of my life, I recognized that I couldn't do it on my own, I couldn't do it alone, which I was trying to.

00:05:32.529 --> 00:05:34.541
I was trying to control everything.

00:05:34.541 --> 00:05:36.791
I was trying to do it on my own strength and I couldn't.

00:05:36.791 --> 00:05:40.223
So after the Lord got a hold of me.

00:05:40.223 --> 00:05:48.160
My faith became a central piece of me and in my life, and even as a police officer in Seattle.

00:05:48.160 --> 00:06:05.380
And so, all that to say, I love all the support for first responders, but I could see that there was a lack of spiritual support in our country for first responders and their families and their families.

00:06:05.380 --> 00:06:19.286
And even though there are chaplains which I oversaw our chaplains program in the Seattle Police Department and even though there are faith-based ministries and resources for first responders, what I recognized is, when I was about two years on that apartment and I was searching for resources, I struggled to find any.

00:06:19.286 --> 00:06:24.485
I struggled to find any other Christian police officers, I struggled to find ministries and resources.

00:06:24.485 --> 00:06:35.862
And then when I reached out to our chaplain, he was actually more discouraging than encouraging and I just struggled.

00:06:35.862 --> 00:06:36.444
I felt isolated, I felt alone.

00:06:36.464 --> 00:06:49.011
And then over the years, as I got more and more involved, I saw that there were a lot of ministries and there were a lot of resources and there were good chaplains out there, but they were all doing their own thing too, all independent, all isolated, no awareness of each other.

00:06:49.011 --> 00:06:53.822
And then I've talked to first responders all over the country and they all say the same things like.

00:06:53.822 --> 00:06:55.928
That's great that there was resources out there.

00:06:55.928 --> 00:06:57.266
I didn't know that any of them existed.

00:06:57.266 --> 00:07:00.189
None of them were available when I needed them or when I was searching.

00:07:00.189 --> 00:07:03.569
So all that to say, it's led us out to Tennessee.

00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:04.925
We took a step of faith.

00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:19.004
We felt like it was something we prayed about for years and it was just.

00:07:19.024 --> 00:07:53.223
We felt like God was calling us out to be able to do this full time, on a larger scale bit over a year ago, as a national Christian gospel-focused first responder alliance of organizations and chaplains and churches and individuals and first responders and spouses just all over the country that feel isolated and alone, to be able to come together in this alliance for greater awareness, for greater support, for greater just collaboration so that they can all be more effective together, more effective as ministries and resources, more effective as chaplains or churches or first responders, and doing the work day in and day out.

00:07:53.223 --> 00:08:24.369
So it's just cool to see what's come together in a short amount of time to where we already have over 80 members a part of this alliance and more than half of those are organizations across the country that are just hungry for that support, hungry for that connection and collaboration, and you know, to be able to come together and work together with other like-minded people and for even for first responders and family members to be able to come together in this alliance and be more supported.

00:08:29.841 --> 00:08:30.201
Yeah, that's.

00:08:30.201 --> 00:08:34.149
It's an awesome mission and I think there's a lot of power in right uniting and kind of well, right, creating an alliance.

00:08:34.149 --> 00:08:35.611
Essentially.

00:08:35.611 --> 00:08:42.373
You know there's just something about that right that elevates the connection, I guess.

00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:50.764
Yeah, I think that we, I think that we know that there's so much power in collaboration and working together.

00:08:50.904 --> 00:09:04.881
But I think that you may have seen what I've seen in the first responder world Unfortunately, there's a lot of silos and there's a lot of, you know, egos and there's a lot of I'm doing this and I'm doing that, and you know I mean and and and and.

00:09:04.923 --> 00:09:18.671
Just, you know, by good people with good missions, doing good things, they end up kind of on a track doing it alone and where they could be so much more effective together and they, like a lot of these resources and ministries, have different strengths and weaknesses.

00:09:18.671 --> 00:09:31.327
You know some of them are putting on, you know, a conference, an annual conference, which is amazing, you know, but how do we support them and connect them through the rest of the year, you know?

00:09:31.327 --> 00:09:32.091
So what are the other resources?

00:09:32.091 --> 00:09:35.243
Or you know that's great that there's this trauma support, but now they need marriage support, you know.

00:09:35.243 --> 00:09:37.067
Or now they need something else, it's like.

00:09:37.067 --> 00:09:52.495
So how can we all kind of come together and work together, you know, so that the end result is that more first responders and family members feel supported and have hope day in and day out for what they're doing.

00:09:52.495 --> 00:10:01.730
I just feel like so many today around the country are losing hope and they need support and they need hope.

00:10:02.412 --> 00:10:03.355
Yeah, I totally agree.

00:10:03.355 --> 00:10:06.422
I want to go back to something that you were talking about.

00:10:06.422 --> 00:10:15.969
The first two years on your job you kind of felt maybe a little bit disconnected, maybe from God, right?

00:10:15.969 --> 00:10:20.938
Or was that fair to say yes, yeah, can you?

00:10:20.979 --> 00:10:21.961
tell me a little bit about that.

00:10:21.961 --> 00:10:23.943
Yeah, definitely.

00:10:23.943 --> 00:10:34.102
I think it was a combination of critical incidents that I was involved in, like we had in my first year.

00:10:34.102 --> 00:10:42.855
We had Officer Timothy Brennan of the Seattle Police Department shot, ambushed and murdered in my precinct in my B a couple hours before my shift started.

00:10:42.855 --> 00:10:46.967
And then the Lakewood four officers sitting in the coffee shop just south of Seattle.

00:10:46.967 --> 00:10:57.801
And then a Pierce County deputy a month later in just south of Seattle on life support and then killed in the line of duty resulting from his injuries.

00:10:57.801 --> 00:11:05.970
And then some other incidents like locating a bank robbery suspect that ended in a shootout in my first while I was on FTO.

00:11:07.331 --> 00:11:22.807
Just a lot of things happened real quick in my at the beginning of my career in a combination with working a shift where I was working most Sunday mornings and I couldn't go to church with my family, so I wasn't going to church as often.

00:11:22.807 --> 00:11:27.423
Uh, I didn't have any other Christian, you know, police officers that I could see.

00:11:27.423 --> 00:11:30.051
Uh, and just, you know, have that example to follow.

00:11:30.051 --> 00:11:32.589
Like, what does it look like to be a Christian and police officer?

00:11:32.589 --> 00:11:33.893
And?

00:11:33.893 --> 00:11:37.381
And so I felt like now, looking back, I feel like I had two.

00:11:37.381 --> 00:11:38.602
I just had a split identity.

00:11:38.602 --> 00:11:52.096
You know, I was like, okay, this is what it means and this is what it looks like to be a good cop at work, and then I'll go home and be the best husband and father and Christian man as I can when I'm off duty.

00:11:52.096 --> 00:11:57.203
And it's just like that's not God's design, that's not God's intent, like we can't we have.

00:11:57.203 --> 00:12:05.249
You know, we are who we are, we have one identity and we are that way and we live it out in every aspect of our life or it's.

00:12:05.249 --> 00:12:09.514
You know, things are going to fall apart at some point somewhere, some way, you know, along the way.

00:12:09.514 --> 00:12:20.129
So I just think it was a combination of a whole lot of things that just um, that impacted me, um, and and just my priorities in the wrong places.

00:12:20.129 --> 00:12:44.874
You know just that I was putting my I can look back and I was putting my job above my family, above my faith and above so many things, and it was just catching up with me and at about two years on, I just it came to a head and I realized I was not where I wanted to be, I was not the man who I wanted to be and I just gave my life to the Lord in a way that I had never had before and God got a hold of my life.

00:12:44.874 --> 00:12:57.984
And now, looking back, like it is just amazing to see, you know, just the peace and the joy and the purpose that I have, you know, in Christ and identity in Christ, and that's really where the name Mission First Alliance came from.

00:12:59.427 --> 00:13:10.008
I think that first responders are very mission driven, but their first and foremost mission usually is for the badge, you know, and for the job and for the.

00:13:10.008 --> 00:13:12.350
It is a calling, which it is, you know.

00:13:12.350 --> 00:13:18.498
But when you put that mission above all others, other things are going to fall to the wayside.

00:13:18.498 --> 00:13:24.005
You know your marriage is going to be impacted, your family is going to be impacted, your faith is going to be impacted.

00:13:24.005 --> 00:13:25.964
That's just not God's design.

00:13:26.465 --> 00:13:34.951
God calls us, you know, to live mission first for him, you know, to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, you know.

00:13:35.782 --> 00:13:37.366
And then to love your neighbor as yourself, like.

00:13:37.386 --> 00:13:38.450
Those are the two greatest commandments.

00:13:38.549 --> 00:13:41.264
That is our, you know, calling.

00:13:41.304 --> 00:13:47.304
The greatest commandment to follow him and the great commission to love others, and that's the mission that he's given us.

00:13:47.325 --> 00:13:56.332
So mission first, like our heart, is that first responders would live mission first for Christ and live that out in their jobs day in and day out.

00:13:57.561 --> 00:14:00.508
And I have seen just how everything falls in line.

00:14:00.508 --> 00:14:11.568
And I think that there were so many in the Seattle Police Department that were looking at me in the midst of that, where I was had an amazing opportunity to just be in a support role through the riots.

00:14:11.568 --> 00:14:32.986
But so many were looking at me like how can you still have peace, how can you still just, you know, have a sense of purpose, how can you just not, you know, be in such a negative space where there wasn't a single Seattle police officer that didn't want to leave the department through those times, and almost half the department has left since then, in the last three years, you know.

00:14:32.986 --> 00:14:54.475
But I think that where we have so much of our identity tied up in the jobs, you know like things can fall apart and so like that's really just, you know my heart's desires that they would have that same purpose and passion, you know, for the Lord first and then just to live it out in their job and their family and every aspect of their life.

00:14:55.419 --> 00:14:56.542
Yeah, what?

00:14:56.542 --> 00:14:57.924
What does it look like?

00:14:57.924 --> 00:15:02.433
Or maybe you can describe to like give yourself up to the Lord.

00:15:02.433 --> 00:15:04.238
What was that like for you?

00:15:04.238 --> 00:15:06.503
Can you share that or do you mind sharing?

00:15:06.523 --> 00:15:06.602
that.

00:15:06.623 --> 00:15:06.803
Yeah.

00:15:07.304 --> 00:15:34.910
Yeah, yeah, I think like if I was to put it in one word, it'd be like surrender, which, as a police officer, like that's a bad word Like we don't, you know, and we know what it means for you know, uh, you know a suspect to surrender, you know, and for them to give up control and they are restrained and they are handcuffed and you know their, you know their next steps are, you know, out of their hands, you know, and now are in the judicial system because of you know, whatever they did.

00:15:34.910 --> 00:15:37.465
Like I just think it comes down to surrender.

00:15:37.465 --> 00:15:48.614
God calls us, you know, to surrender our hearts, you know, to him and surrender our lives to him, you know, to abide in him, which is dependence and surrender.

00:15:48.614 --> 00:15:53.927
You know, like John 15, five, abide in me and apart from me, you can do nothing.

00:15:53.927 --> 00:16:00.106
So I think it just comes down to surrender, which I think is one of the things that makes it so hard for first responders.

00:16:00.147 --> 00:16:16.950
Responders is like we're trained from day one, you know, to uh, uh, maintain control and to have control, and we hold on to control and we don't want to give up control, you know, um, but God doesn't want us to just have a knowledge of him.

00:16:16.950 --> 00:16:22.322
He wants us to live for him and surrender our lives to him.

00:16:22.322 --> 00:16:28.282
So for me, I just like I had to give up control, which was hard to do.

00:16:28.282 --> 00:16:30.346
It was so hard to do.

00:16:30.346 --> 00:16:44.890
And you know, give up control, for you know my hopes and my dreams and my plans and what I wanted out of life and just say Lord, I'm here, my life is yours, you know, and I want to live for you.

00:16:44.890 --> 00:16:48.364
So I don't know, that's what it looks like a lot for me in my life.

00:16:48.945 --> 00:16:58.618
Yeah, up until that did you have like this, maybe nagging feeling that something was missing or something like that, or just something you felt something was off.

00:16:59.821 --> 00:17:12.718
Yeah, definitely felt like something was off, and I think that we always talk about, you know, like balance in our lives and you know, and work and life balance and all those things which I think, to some degree, even when I was training resilience, I think it's something of a myth.

00:17:12.718 --> 00:17:25.936
I don't think it's perfectly possible to have perfect balance, Sure, but yeah, I think that it just felt like there was something that was off and I think that in so many, so many people, they can feel that like there's just something missing.

00:17:25.936 --> 00:17:40.416
You know, or just have a lack of joy or a lack of, you know just, positivity in my life, or I have a lack of purpose, or I have a lack of, you know, balance, and I think it's just out of misplaced priorities.

00:17:40.416 --> 00:17:58.250
But I think that, first responders, when I was training resilience and wellness, I think that we're some of the worst at self-awareness, you know, and I think that some of that comes by the nature of who we are and you know, I mean we've signed up like to serve others and to sacrifice for others and to put others above ourselves.

00:17:58.250 --> 00:18:12.619
You know, I mean we've signed up like to serve others and to sacrifice for others and to put others above ourselves, you know, at all costs and like we've embraced that calling and we understand that there is a sacrifice, but I think, as a result of it and doing it long enough, like we have just terrible self-awareness.

00:18:12.619 --> 00:18:30.781
You know to how the job's affecting us, to you know where things might be out of line in our lives and we don't have people like speaking into our lives sometimes to you know, to point us in the right direction, especially in our personal lives, and so, yes, it just totally felt like things were, you know, out of balance.

00:18:30.781 --> 00:18:33.307
There was so much more tension in my marriage.

00:18:33.307 --> 00:18:57.606
I wasn't around as much for my two young kids at that time it wasn't the husband I wanted to be, it wasn't the father I wanted to be, it wasn't the man I wanted to be, and I realized it wasn't me having more balance, it wasn't me putting my family first, it wasn't any of those things, it was putting God first, living mission first for God, and then everything else.

00:18:57.606 --> 00:18:58.788
Falling in line from that.

00:18:59.315 --> 00:19:06.157
I think one of the books that I read that I've loved the most is Victory Over Darkness from Neil Anderson.

00:19:06.157 --> 00:19:15.843
He just talks about our identity in Christ and I think that every first responder should read that book If they had any inkling of things.

00:19:15.843 --> 00:19:19.630
Things aren't, you know are out of line or you know something's missing.

00:19:19.630 --> 00:19:28.068
You know, I just think that that's such an amazing book, you know, just to speak into our identity and who we are and how we should live out our lives.

00:19:29.516 --> 00:19:39.775
I think sometimes, as first responders, when we think something's missing or out of line, excuse me it comes back as like oh more money, so I need to work more overtime.

00:19:39.775 --> 00:19:44.305
That will be the fix of this feeling or thought.

00:19:44.305 --> 00:19:45.948
What do you think about that?

00:19:46.835 --> 00:19:48.577
Yeah, I agree.

00:19:48.577 --> 00:19:50.843
Well, yes, I agree completely.

00:19:50.843 --> 00:20:06.282
And I would say on top of that, I think that work as a first responder, especially where we're so like control driven, mission, mission driven and control driven Work, becomes almost like our safe place.

00:20:06.282 --> 00:20:10.723
Like work, like where there is chaos in our personal lives.

00:20:10.723 --> 00:20:17.519
Like work becomes like our safe place, like we, like it's something we're good at, we thrive at.

00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:21.442
You know, we can try to maintain control as best we can, you know.

00:20:21.442 --> 00:20:24.135
There, you know, have that authority, have that you know.

00:20:24.135 --> 00:20:26.544
And just like purpose, you know.

00:20:26.544 --> 00:20:36.759
And so I feel like there's so many that, yeah, when things start spiraling in their personal life, they almost double down at work and work more and work harder.

00:20:36.759 --> 00:20:47.278
You know, and and and I think that that's one of the things that's so challenging for first responders, where mental health and suicide, you know, are so prevalent.

00:20:47.278 --> 00:21:33.837
I think it becomes hard to identify those that are struggling the most as first responders, because among their coworkers and their supervisors, sometimes the ones that are struggling the most in their personal lives don't look like they're struggling at work, because that's where they thrive and they're coming and they're going to put everything into it at work, where the month before a police officer committed suicide, was appeared to be by their coworkers and supervisors their most productive month, their hardest working month, and looking like they had it all together, and some of their coworkers and supervisors were blindsided by it, but that was their.

00:21:33.837 --> 00:21:35.262
I think that that's our safe place.

00:21:35.262 --> 00:21:37.040
So, yeah, I agree completely.

00:21:37.040 --> 00:21:47.730
I think that we can do everything and I think that that's also what makes it tough on the church, or chaplains or, you know, ministries you know to come alongside and support them.

00:21:47.730 --> 00:22:06.025
I personally feel like our nation's first responders are one of the greatest, like unseen mission fields for the church, because just the culture of first responders is of strength and control and we don't show weaknesses and we, you know, hold it all together.

00:22:06.025 --> 00:22:14.544
And so on the outside, it looks like we've got it together, and even the first responders that are attending churches, it's like they're not going to be the ones that are asking for help.

00:22:14.544 --> 00:22:17.519
You know they're not going to be the ones that are breaking down.

00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:24.020
They're going to look like they got it all together, even though so many times at home, you know, things might be falling apart.

00:22:24.883 --> 00:22:25.904
I think that it was so.

00:22:25.904 --> 00:22:41.624
I think it was so eye opening to me once I was doing peer support full-time as a full-time coordinator and overseeing our peer support team of a hundred peer support you know, support officers and supervisors on the department and doing resilience and wellness training and starting our wellness unit.

00:22:41.624 --> 00:22:59.701
When I was doing it full time and supporting other departments around the state, I think it just opened my eyes to the extensive issues there are with mental health and physical health and spiritual health and just the struggles that come from the job.

00:22:59.701 --> 00:23:07.540
Um, I think when we just hear the one-offs you know that, uh, you know this, this, um, you know, first responder committed suicide or this.

00:23:07.540 --> 00:23:14.083
You know, uh, you know divorce or this, you know whatever when we hear the one-offs, like we don't, it's just like it's just the trickle.

00:23:14.083 --> 00:23:18.009
You know, we hear that, we see the trickle, but when I was doing a full time, it just felt like.

00:23:18.009 --> 00:23:19.980
It felt like a bottomless well.

00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:24.042
Yeah, like like we are just so reactive.

00:23:24.042 --> 00:23:49.320
All we are doing is reacting, reacting to the critical incidents, reacting to those that are struggling the most, trying to come alongside them, and it feels like it is a bottomless well in terms of how many were struggling One of the times that it became the most obvious in the Seattle Police Department to the leadership there is.

00:23:49.340 --> 00:23:54.229
We had, in 2018, an officer commit suicide and didn't immediately pass away from his suicide attempt.

00:23:54.229 --> 00:24:07.818
He was on life support for a couple days, but during that period of time, the name of that officer was not released, and it wasn't released immediately, you know, for privacy and for family.

00:24:07.818 --> 00:24:13.518
In that span of time, there were over 20 names that were circulating around the department.

00:24:13.518 --> 00:24:15.082
Was it this officer?

00:24:15.082 --> 00:24:15.964
Was it this officer?

00:24:15.964 --> 00:24:16.787
Was it this officer?

00:24:17.255 --> 00:24:22.707
And I think that where command staff and leadership they're not going to see those they're struggling.

00:24:22.707 --> 00:24:29.615
I think that they were like the eyes were opened in terms of oh wow, are there really that many struggling?

00:24:29.615 --> 00:24:34.065
That it could have been, you know, this officer that committed suicide.

00:24:34.065 --> 00:24:38.955
We had two spouses attempt suicide during the riots In the previous year.

00:24:38.955 --> 00:24:45.229
We had a spouse, a young spouse, who was pregnant with their second child, commit suicide.

00:24:45.229 --> 00:25:10.358
So, like the impacts of these jobs are just, you know, so prevalent all the way across the country among first responders, among families, and I just think that so many don't see the struggles because on the outside, we appear like we've got it all together and we can go to work and do a great job and serve others and put others above ourselves, while everything at home is falling apart.

00:25:11.201 --> 00:25:16.902
Yeah, I think you said that really well how that all kind of wraps together.

00:25:16.902 --> 00:25:18.885
You know as as one, as one thing.

00:25:18.885 --> 00:25:32.906
You know, you're right, like the chaos and control that we go to is somewhat controllable, but at home that is that that chaos is not really controllable.

00:25:32.906 --> 00:25:50.778
In some ways it can be right If you dedicate yourself to to fixing those problems, but it's generally very difficult to do, I think, for first responders to dedicate themselves to do that and then it spirals out of control, like with peer support and stuff like that when I was teaching it.

00:25:50.778 --> 00:26:01.878
Also, it's like no department is going to escape what's going on with mental health, no matter how small you are, like it's still.

00:26:01.878 --> 00:26:12.861
Like if even like in volunteer fire and EMS departments and stuff like that, it's almost more prevalent, I think, sometimes because they don't have the resources that some of these other departments have.

00:26:14.176 --> 00:26:40.788
Yes, I agree, and I think that for me, the support is what's needed.

00:26:40.788 --> 00:26:41.469
They just need support.

00:26:41.469 --> 00:26:48.512
You know the first responders, you know the crisis hotlines, you know the peer support team, the resources inside the department, the resource outside the department.

00:26:48.512 --> 00:27:04.461
Let's have as many resources available to them, you know, because it may not be this resource, it may be this one that is, you know, connects or is preferred, you know, but the more resources the better, so that you know people aren't falling through the cracks.

00:27:04.461 --> 00:27:09.680
And yes, I agree that some departments, some parts of the country, you know, have so much more support than others.

00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:23.885
I just think that where you know they're not supported, you know there's just so many more opportunities, you know, for them to fall through the cracks, for them to just be isolated and alone.

00:27:23.885 --> 00:27:27.199
You know, suffering in silence, where others don't even know it.

00:27:27.199 --> 00:27:33.057
I think that we know that there's so much isolation, you know, in these.

00:27:33.057 --> 00:27:34.780
You know first responder cultures too.

00:27:34.780 --> 00:27:39.207
I mean, it's like I was amazed, you know, at hearing that when I first went to the Academy of you know you know first responder cultures too.

00:27:39.207 --> 00:27:40.638
I mean, it's like I was amazed, you know, at hearing that when I first went to the Academy of.

00:27:40.638 --> 00:28:02.089
You know, you know the Kevin Gilmartin stuff of you know, just, you know is very quickly in your career you're going to start to lose some of the friends that you used to have and all of a sudden you're only going to have other you know police officers as friends and like it just it happens, and I mean it happens because of how much you're putting into work and how much others can relate with you and you connect with them and you know so, yeah, it just happens.

00:28:02.089 --> 00:28:26.201
And then you know we just put everything into work and work hard and it's like then, as soon as we're off, we want to be off and we just start to isolate ourselves and that isolation, like I just think is so deadly, like I just think is so deadly, is so toxic, is so, you know, harmful.

00:28:26.201 --> 00:28:31.656
You know, just to be so isolated and not to feel like you have support, yeah, I think is definitely a challenge and I my heart is that.

00:28:31.798 --> 00:28:40.560
You know I would love to see this alliance grow, you know, so that there is so much more support readily available for first responders and family members.

00:28:40.560 --> 00:28:42.719
Yeah, what would that look like to you?

00:28:42.719 --> 00:28:54.845
Yeah, through this alliance, I would love to see the ministries and the organizations, the chaplains, the churches you know like all to be able to come together.

00:28:54.845 --> 00:29:12.227
You know to you know, under this alliance, that we can, you know, have an alliance directory, that we can have resources all across the country that we can have, you know, this network that's available for the first responders and the spouses that they can just look in their communities and see here are the resources, here's what's available.

00:29:12.227 --> 00:29:22.679
Here's what's available for you know, trauma support for you know marriage support for you know, peer support for you know just you know, trauma support for you know, marriage support for you know, peer support for you know just you know, support in their faith.

00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:49.891
So I think that, while the support resources you know of, you know mental health and other resources are growing across the country, I think that this faith-based support for those that are needing that and wanting that is not there yet in terms of, you know, widespread and effective support available to them.

00:29:49.990 --> 00:29:57.173
So I would love to see that grow and I'd love to see the churches that have a heart for first responders to be more effective too.

00:29:57.173 --> 00:30:03.561
I just think that there are so many churches that don't understand the culture, and so they have.

00:30:03.561 --> 00:30:09.782
They have a heart and they want to support, but they I hear from pastors over and over again that they just don't even know where to start, even know what to do.

00:30:09.782 --> 00:30:22.587
You know, and so, like our heart is through this alliance that we can be uniting and equipping all who have a heart to reach our nation's first responders for Christ, you know, with real hope in Christ.

00:30:22.587 --> 00:30:31.247
So we want to be uniting them in this alliance and then we want to be supporting them and equipping them and connecting them to all be more effective together.

00:30:32.931 --> 00:30:46.486
Do you offer or do you have like a hotline that's maybe, or some way to like, if I'm a Christian officer and I'm in need of help or wanting help, that I can reach out to you or to somebody, or how does that work?

00:30:47.569 --> 00:30:52.481
Yeah, all of my contact information is on our website missionfirstalliancecom.

00:30:52.481 --> 00:30:55.878
It's all spelled out, missionfirstalliancecom.

00:30:55.878 --> 00:31:12.113
It's all spelled out, missionfirstalliancecom.

00:31:12.113 --> 00:31:19.164
We have an alliance directory to where our alliance nationwide is growing rapidly just because of this need to come together and these organizations around the country and for first responders, spouses, to look into it.

00:31:19.164 --> 00:31:28.036
And we have membership which is free and I would encourage even any Christian first responder or spouse to become a member and join this alliance as well.

00:31:28.971 --> 00:31:37.363
We're doing so many things to try to offer resources, to try to offer opportunities for them to get connected and supported.

00:31:37.363 --> 00:31:44.343
We're doing a monthly virtual gathering on Zoom where we've had, you know, 30 to 50 come together every month.

00:31:44.343 --> 00:31:52.394
We're doing three leader summit retreats this year which are free to attend One in Florida, one in Arkansas, one in Idaho.

00:31:52.394 --> 00:32:05.538
We're doing our first national networking conference so any Christian first responders or spouses, or chaplains, or churches or ministries can come together and just, you know, be able to be more supported and connected and learn.

00:32:05.538 --> 00:32:06.403
You know what's out there.

00:32:07.145 --> 00:32:08.892
We've just started a collaborative blog.

00:32:08.892 --> 00:32:11.238
We're just starting a collaborative you know podcast.

00:32:11.238 --> 00:32:13.991
You know, to highlight, you know what's going on around the country.

00:32:13.991 --> 00:32:17.176
You know we're going to start putting out some training videos.

00:32:17.176 --> 00:32:27.339
So, yeah, I'd say just you know, jump on our website, become a member, contact us, go on the Alliance directory to see what's out there.

00:32:27.339 --> 00:32:33.363
I think our my desire is just for no first responder or spouse to feel like they're alone.

00:32:33.363 --> 00:32:42.044
You know that they're struggling alone, that there are so many that are out there that care for them and love them and support them and want to come alongside them.

00:32:42.044 --> 00:32:45.579
You know, and we just want them to get connected.

00:32:47.451 --> 00:32:51.078
To come alongside somebody and be there for them.

00:32:51.078 --> 00:33:03.811
You don't have to know them right, you just have to have a heart to care for them yes, yes, and that is what we are hoping in this alliance.

00:33:04.031 --> 00:33:08.213
I think that there are so many that have a heart for first responders, you know, but don't know what to do because they don't.

00:33:08.253 --> 00:33:19.722
They've never been a first responder, they understand the culture, and so we're just trying to say, like we want to unite and equip all, we want to bring them all together and and show them that even anyone inside a church can come alongside and support them.

00:33:20.891 --> 00:33:39.152
And I think that some of the stuff that we're hoping to do over time, like the peer support, training that you know, trust is the most important thing, which happens over time and through a relationship relationship.

00:33:39.152 --> 00:33:52.875
Yeah, so for the resources and the organizations and chaplains and those that want to come alongside and support first responders, like we want to come alongside and and help them, equip them, show them that you know to understand the culture and just some ways to be able to start to build those relationships and build trust.

00:33:52.875 --> 00:33:53.778
And, you know, make themselves available.

00:33:53.778 --> 00:33:56.587
Yeah, I think it's just, I think it's just taking that first step which you know make themselves available.

00:33:56.587 --> 00:34:04.663
Yeah, I think it's just, I think it's just taking that first step, which you know is always the hardest step right Taking, taking that first step, yeah, and which makes me one.

00:34:04.703 --> 00:34:15.503
before I let you go, I want to backtrack something a little bit, you know, cause I'm sure people that are listening and want to know this like so, when you decided to move to Tennessee, like how did that come about?

00:34:15.503 --> 00:34:20.094
A little bit and I'm guessing some you, probably people around you were like you're going to do what.

00:34:21.518 --> 00:34:22.981
Yeah, a lot of people.

00:34:22.981 --> 00:34:26.050
Yeah, um, uh, yeah.

00:34:26.050 --> 00:34:27.693
We bought our house sight unseen.

00:34:27.693 --> 00:34:30.398
We moved across the country in a matter of weeks.

00:34:30.398 --> 00:34:33.371
Um, you know, and, and, and.

00:34:33.371 --> 00:34:49.161
While I'll say, on one hand, uh, it and it happened quickly and not everyone around us kind of knew that we might make that move, but it was something that we were praying about for almost 10 years my wife and I.

00:34:51.713 --> 00:34:58.952
And God was stirring us and leading us and we were coming alongside more local and national ministries and we were praying.

00:34:58.952 --> 00:35:03.510
Just you know God, you know, direct our paths, we're available to you, we'll go wherever you want.

00:35:03.510 --> 00:35:14.882
So the vaccine mandate as a condition of employment was one of those factors for us, you know, to just say okay, god, is this where you're saying it's time to go.

00:35:14.882 --> 00:35:23.637
And ultimately, we took a couple of weeks and we prayed about it and at the end of a couple of weeks, we just felt like, yep, god was using that as an opportunity to say go.

00:35:23.637 --> 00:35:39.492
And so, based on the national ministries we were a part of and volunteering with and I was on the board with, and things like that Tennessee was a strategic move so that we could bring some of these ministries together.

00:35:39.492 --> 00:36:08.219
And even this idea of this alliance like it wasn't there when I was in the Seattle Police Department and it wasn't here when I first moved out here Like God has been directing our paths and about a year and a half ago, like a lot of these ministry leaders started talking and had been praying for years, seeing that there was a need to come together and we started having conversations and like it just, you know, was started out of a need.

00:36:08.659 --> 00:36:13.853
So, like God has been directing our paths, we, yes, moved across the country.

00:36:13.853 --> 00:36:16.300
We knew two people out here in Tennessee.

00:36:16.300 --> 00:36:36.393
We bought our house sight unseen but, like me, my wife, our four kids can clearly see God's hand in this and have so much peace and confirmation along the way that this is exactly where God wants us to be and this is such a need.

00:36:36.393 --> 00:36:40.215
I've even heard from people like you know, travis Yates and others.

00:36:40.215 --> 00:36:51.836
You know that just to say that this is so needed and that there hasn't been anything like this done before for first responders in the faith community to build an alliance, to come together.

00:36:51.836 --> 00:36:59.121
You know, because there's so many silos and so many people doing things independently and so much isolation among first responders and spouses.

00:36:59.121 --> 00:37:00.996
So there's such a need for this.

00:37:00.996 --> 00:37:02.996
So, yeah, I'm excited.

00:37:02.996 --> 00:37:10.362
Tennessee is great, we love it out here and it wasn't on our radar at all a couple years ago.

00:37:11.010 --> 00:37:15.914
Yeah, no, I love the story, I love the journey that you're taking and what you're doing.

00:37:15.914 --> 00:37:23.364
I think that says a lot about you and your belief and what you want to accomplish.

00:37:23.364 --> 00:37:42.295
And I think it's definitely needed because I'm not sure if you may have heard of this statistic like 80% of first responders put their spiritual I don't want to say well-being or spirituality very highly ranked in, you know, in their priorities.

00:37:42.295 --> 00:37:48.695
You know family spirituality, like it was in like the top five, I think, or maybe in the top three.

00:37:48.695 --> 00:37:54.635
So it's definitely first responders are spiritual, I think, but maybe I don't know.

00:37:54.635 --> 00:37:55.257
Are they good?

00:37:55.257 --> 00:37:57.543
Are they church going people or just spiritual?

00:37:58.570 --> 00:38:00.958
Yeah, yeah, and it doesn't matter, I guess.

00:38:01.460 --> 00:38:06.338
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree, um, and I loved that aspect of even training, resilience and wellness.

00:38:06.338 --> 00:38:12.336
It's like even psychologists recognize that spirituality is a huge component of our resilience.

00:38:12.336 --> 00:38:15.931
You know just having a sense of purpose and meaning and direction.

00:38:15.931 --> 00:38:17.117
You know just spiritually.

00:38:17.117 --> 00:38:17.880
You know a higher calling and purpose.

00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:19.666
You know just having a sense of purpose and meaning and direction.

00:38:19.666 --> 00:38:20.289
You know just spiritually.

00:38:20.289 --> 00:38:22.313
You know a higher calling and purpose.

00:38:22.313 --> 00:38:24.623
You know, in our lives, you know so, to be able to open up that door and have that conversation.

00:38:24.643 --> 00:38:27.956
I think it is important to so many, but I think that there are so few examples to follow.

00:38:27.956 --> 00:38:31.668
I think that there are so few like resources at times.

00:38:31.668 --> 00:38:40.275
You know, which is what I felt, you know, and so I feel like they like like I did, I just struggled alone, I felt isolated and alone.

00:38:40.275 --> 00:38:44.132
I didn't feel like I knew how to do it, I didn't have any examples to follow.

00:38:44.132 --> 00:38:47.980
So, yes, that's like where I am so excited to see this grow.

00:38:47.980 --> 00:38:58.284
You know, to see chaplains, you know more effective, I think there's really good chaplains out there and I think that they're really chaplains that you know are more of there for the community or the command staff or other things and not there for the officers.

00:38:58.284 --> 00:39:09.559
So I just I'm so excited for more effective you know resources and I think that there's just a need for hope.

00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:11.182
You know, I just keep going back to that.

00:39:11.182 --> 00:39:13.612
I feel like there's times that I felt like I was losing hope.

00:39:13.612 --> 00:39:29.233
I feel like there's so many others that are losing hope in just the world today and the direction things are going and the challenges that law enforcement and first responders are facing, and I felt that in what felt like the darkest days in Seattle through the riots in 2020.

00:39:29.233 --> 00:39:35.032
And they just need hope, but they need to know where to turn and there needs to be more good, faith-based resources.

00:39:35.514 --> 00:39:51.532
One of the quotes that I loved using in my resilience and wellness training was from a military chaplain, chaplain Robert Preston Taylor, who was a prisoner of war in World War II, and it's like you just hear in so many of those prisoner of war stories.

00:39:51.532 --> 00:39:53.414
It's like their hope.

00:39:53.414 --> 00:39:58.704
You know they had to maintain hope when they thought all was lost and they had no.

00:39:58.704 --> 00:39:59.471
You know.

00:39:59.471 --> 00:40:02.539
You know no idea, you know what the future would hold.

00:40:02.539 --> 00:40:09.181
But he said you know, do not doubt in the dark what you believe in the light, and I love that quote.

00:40:09.181 --> 00:40:13.603
You know, because as first responders, we live in the world of darkness.

00:40:13.603 --> 00:40:19.300
You know of just, you know trauma and evil and you know tragedy, and you know we're just consumed by the darkness.

00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:25.099
And where the darkness seems to be increasing in our world today, you know it's like, how do we maintain hope?

00:40:25.099 --> 00:40:30.862
How do we, you know, continue to believe and and know, you know, what we believed before.

00:40:30.862 --> 00:40:34.324
You know the trial, before the challenges, before everything.

00:40:34.324 --> 00:40:36.539
Like, how do we maintain that even through the challenges, before everything?

00:40:36.539 --> 00:40:38.592
Like, how do we maintain that even through the challenges that we face?

00:40:38.592 --> 00:40:44.394
Because, like, the jobs of first responders aren't going to get any easier, the challenges are always going to be there.

00:40:44.394 --> 00:40:46.039
But what's our sense of purpose?

00:40:46.039 --> 00:40:47.391
What's our perspective?

00:40:47.391 --> 00:40:49.054
Where's our source of hope?

00:40:49.054 --> 00:41:09.702
You know, and we've got to be like strong in that, like before the big things happen, because it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when that next critical incident, that next big call is happening, that next big challenge in our career, and so it's like we have to have that solid foundation, solid hope, before it all happens.

00:41:10.329 --> 00:41:11.653
Totally, totally agree with you.

00:41:11.653 --> 00:41:23.282
Well, jeremy, I'm excited to see the Alliance grow and become more prevalent, you know, out there for first responders so they can not feel alone and get the help that they need and desire.

00:41:23.282 --> 00:41:27.820
And right, we also desire to be um a part of something bigger than ourselves.

00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:34.083
So you know, people hopefully will join your mission, you know, to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

00:41:35.291 --> 00:41:36.293
Yeah, I love that.

00:41:36.293 --> 00:41:47.213
I hope people would join, would support uh, you know this mission um, so that you know all 4.6 million of our first responders and their family members can get the support that they need.

00:41:47.213 --> 00:41:48.759
So, yes, we love that.

00:41:49.610 --> 00:41:50.755
Well, thanks for being on today.

00:41:50.755 --> 00:41:51.639
I really appreciate it.

00:41:52.510 --> 00:41:53.815
Yeah, thanks for having me, it was an honor.

00:41:54.429 --> 00:41:55.615
Thanks again for listening.

00:41:55.615 --> 00:42:03.630
Don't forget to rate and review the show wherever you access your podcast.

00:42:03.630 --> 00:42:27.659
If you know someone that would be great on the show, please get a hold of our host, Jerry Dean Lund, through the Instagram handles at JerryFireAndFuel or at EnduringTheBadgePodcast, Also by visiting the show's website, EnduringTheBadgePodcastcom, for additional methods of contact and up-to-date information regarding the show.

00:42:27.659 --> 00:42:37.398
Remember, the views and opinions expressed during the show solely represent those of our host and the current episode's guest.